


Merry Christmas, I Could Care Less

by Snapjinxx



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: FOB, Finished, M/M, MCR, geetrick, petekey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 18:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14218677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snapjinxx/pseuds/Snapjinxx
Summary: If there was one thing Patrick Stump hated above all else, it was trains. Even more so than the holiday season, or the idea of falling in love.If there was one thing Gerard Way loved above all else, it was trains. Even more so than the holiday season, or the idea of falling in love.What will happen when fate brings the two polar opposites together on a busy train travelling across the country the week before Christmas?This is a story done in the style of a Hallmark Christmas movie, so be prepared for a jumble of holiday clichés and romantic comedy tropes. This is one of the happiest, fluffiest stories I'll ever write.





	1. The Meet Cute

"Oh god, what have I gotten myself into?"

Patrick Stump handed over his ticket and walked reluctantly through the door of the train, keeping an eye out for his compartment.

"Wrong way," Pete Wentz chuckled, tapping his best friend on the shoulder quickly. "Follow me."

Patrick sighed and rolled his eyes, being careful not to hit anyone in the cramped train walkway with the large luggage bag he carried. Before long, he had turned around and was walking in the other direction.

"I hate trains," he muttered to himself, bitterly.

"You're not gonna hate this one," Pete assured, an excited smile on his face. "It's gonna be better than flying, I promise."

"How the hell is this gonna be better?" Patrick huffed.

"I sprung for first class train tickets!" Pete announced, as if it would change Patrick's mind. "There's really cool reclining seats, good food, and we even have our own compartment with beds and stuff! It's gonna be sick!"

"Beds?" Patrick clarified, his eyes widening. "How long are we gonna be on this train?" 

"Well," Pete recalled. "This train makes a couple stops on the way, so about four days."

"We could've been there in five hours on a plane," Patrick commented, brusquely.

"Are you really willing to risk going on a plane right now?" Pete rolled his eyes back at his friend, playfully, but with a hint of annoyance. "Have you seen the weather lately? There's never been a snowstorm like this one in my entire life! We're lucky I didn't crash the car on the drive over here!"

"That's what this is about?" Patrick snapped. 

"We're not gonna die on a train," Pete reasoned. "Planes are already dangerous enough without adding weather problems. If you think about it, I just saved our lives. You should be thanking me right now."

"Whatever." Patrick exhaled angrily as he handed his ticket to the crew member and waiting for the door to the first class compartment to open.

"Enjoy your trip," The crew member smiled, opening up the door for Patrick and Pete. "Happy holidays!"

"Thank you," Patrick mustered up a smile as he took his ticket back and walked through the door. 

"You're not understanding me!" Pete called, following Patrick quickly. "This is gonna be so much better than taking a plane! Look around you! This place is perfect!"

"Twenty-four A," Patrick muttered to himself, looking around for the corresponding seat number.

"There it is!" Pete announced, crossing Patrick and settling into an empty seat and reclining back comfortably. "Now this is what I call luxury travel! We're gonna be sittin' pretty this whole trip!"

"This whole four-day trip," Patrick thought out loud, annoyedly. "Aren't we supposed to be getting there by the twenty-fifth?"

"Patrick, c'mon!" Pete narrowed his eyes. "The twenty-fifth? You really can't just say Christmas?"

"I could," Patrick shrugged. "But I choose not to. All it is to me is another day to get through."

"Stop being ridiculous," Pete laughed. "You sound like a villain from one of those TV Christmas specials with those ugly little clay people. Come and sit down, you're making me tired just watching you."

"I just don't see the point of it all," Patrick sighed, settling into the fancy, cushy train seat next to Pete. "It's ridiculous! I-"

"I know," Pete sighed, rolling his eyes. "You've said this before. 'Christmas is a holiday created by a secret government organization that's only there to make consumerism spike for a little bit.' I get it."

"Never once have I said that a secret government agency was involved," Patrick chuckled softly. 

"Okay," Pete agreed. "But you gotta admit, that's not what the holidays are all about-"

"Are you gonna try and convince me that the holidays are about family and friends?" Patrick asked, sarcastically. "Yeah, right! People say that, but your family and friends shun you if you don't buy 'em something nice. It's totally superficial."

"The holidays are all about love!" Pete interjected, with a smile. "Think about it; everyone is looking for their perfect someone during the holidays! If it's love you want, it's just a matter of time before it falls right in front of you."

"Really?" Patrick snarked. "Since when did you turn into someone who believes in love at first sight?"

"It could happen," Pete insisted, breaking eye contact with Patrick nervously for just a moment. "I'd like to believe that maybe one day someone could walk by and I'll just know they're the one. You know: 'The One!'" 

"Have you been watching Hallmark Movies again?" Patrick laughed. "You can't really think that happens to people. Ugh, that kind of stuff makes me wanna puke."

"Why do you have to be such a downer?" Pete asked, changing the subject immediately. "Why do you hate everything? Why can't you just let yourself be happy for once?"

"I'm happy all the time." Patrick reclined into his seat and pulled his jacket tighter around him. "Just not during this time of year. Or when people talk about true love. Or on crowded trains next to obnoxious babies."

"There's no babies here," Pete commented, looking around the train car. "There's only a few other people here besides you and m-." 

Patrick didn't say a word. He let his eyes do all the talking as he stared Pete down. Pete's eyes narrowed as he understood Patrick's joke.

"Ha ha," he deadpanned, sarcastically. "Funny. But if anyone here is being unreasonable, it's you."

"Okay," Patrick reasoned. "That was uncalled for. I don't think you're a baby. If anything, you're like-"

"Oh my god!" Pete shouted, with a dramatic gasp. "Patrick, look!"

"What?" Patrick asked, looking around for something dangerous. "Pete, what is it?"

"Look at that guy," Pete whispered, pointing to a man with brightly dyed red hair in a black coat sitting at a community table by himself, a plate with a gorgeous, frosting-topped cinnamon roll in front of him.

"The guy in the black coat?" Patrick whispered back. "What's wrong with him?"

"Not him!" Pete whispered excitedly. "I was talking about that gorgeous cinnamon roll in front of him! That looks fantastic! I'm gonna have to get one of those."

Patrick looked back at Pete, his eyes narrow and annoyed.

"Really?" He huffed, at full volume. "All that fuss over a cinnamon roll? The way you reacted, I thought the guy was gonna kill us!"

"Sorry," Pete apologized. "I got overly excited. I shouldn't have interrupted you. What were you gonna say?"

Patrick chuckled to himself softly.

"I was gonna say," he said, doing his best to hold back a laugh. "That you're not like a baby. If anything you're more like-"

He quickly noticed that Pete wasn't paying attention to him; he was once again fixated on the cinnamon roll, practically drooling over the sight. 

"Pete!"

"Sorry!" Pete shook off the thought of the cinnamon roll quickly and turned his gaze back to Patrick. "You've got my full attention now, I promise! What were you gonna say?"

"You're like a border collie!" Patrick rushed, wondering how long it would be until he lost Pete's attention again. 

"Oh, so I'm like your pet dog now?" Pete rolled his eyes. "C'mon! Have a little faith in me! Do you really think I'm incapable of acting like-"

He gasped loudly again and clutched Patrick's shoulder firmly, looking over at the table with the cinnamon roll-eating, red-haired man.

"Patrick!"

"What, did someone pass by with a slice of strawberry cheesecake or something?" Patrick snarked, sarcastically. 

"No!" Pete seemed even more excited than he was before. "This is better! Look who just joined the table!"

Patrick looked over at the table again, noticing that a tall, brown-haired man had joined.

"Who's he? Is he famous?" Patrick asked.

"Don't think so," Pete guessed. "Look at him, though! Oh my god!"

"What about him?" Patrick looked back at Pete for clarification, but Pete continued to stare at the table, his eyes full of attention and his mouth turning up into a smile.

"I'm in love with him." He declared, matter-of-factly.

"I couldn't possibly have heard that right," Patrick said, his eyes widening.

"I'm gonna marry him." Pete decided. "He's my One. Don't ask me how I know that. I just do."

"You're just trying to prove a point!" Patrick argued. "I said love at first sight didn't exist, so you picked someone and-"

"I'm gonna go talk to him." Without missing a beat, he got up from his seat and made his way over to the table.

"You're not serious!" Patrick called, but Pete didn't turn back. "Pete! Pete, come back!" 

It was right then that Patrick realized that Pete wasn't going to listen to him. He sighed, swearing under his breath as he got up from his seat and chased after Pete.

"Patrick, don't stop me!" 

"I have to! You'll just embarrass yourself!" He grabbed Pete's arm and dragged him back to his seat.

"What are you doing?" Patrick whispered aggressively. "You've gone crazy! You can't just go up to people and-"

"Shh!" Pete hushed, leaning over Patrick slightly and turning an ear over to the table. "I can hear what they're talking about. Hold on."

Patrick rolled his eyes and kept quiet, not able to keep himself from listening in as well. 

"Gerard, I've been meaning to tell you something," the brown-haired man said, a certain kind of excited nervousness in his voice.

"What is it, Mikey?" The other man at the table asked.

"Mikey," Pete sighed, his eyes pooling over with love. "His name's Mikey."

Mikey took a deep breath before looking up at the other man at the table, a smile on his face.

"I'm gay."

Pete's hand clapped over his mouth as he worked his absolute hardest to hold back an excited yelp. Patrick couldn't help but gasp softly in surprise. He couldn't believe the coincidence. 

"What?" Gerard gasped, genuinely surprised. "Shut up! You're kidding!"

"Nope." Mikey blushed softly, with a soft laugh. "I wanted you to be the first to know."

"Oh my god, Mikey!" Gerard whimpered, his voice weak with happiness. "I'm so proud of you!"

"He's perfect," Pete whimpered softly.

The happy scene made Pete almost want to cry. Patrick watched on blankly, waiting to see what would happen.

"So, Mikes," Gerard inquired, playfully. "You got a boyfriend? Someone you got your eye on?"

Mikey blushed a little harder, and Pete found himself barely able to function.

"No," Mikey admitted. "I don't. I would like one, though..."

"Pete, I swear to god, don't-" 

Patrick looked over, but Pete wasn't there.

"...And he's gone. Fan-freakin'-tastic." 

"Hi, um, Mikey?" Pete gingerly greeted. Mikey looked up at Pete, smiling, yet slightly confused.

"Do I know you?" He asked, with a head tilt. The head tilt enough was enough to make Pete lose his composure for a moment.

"I... I... um, wow..." He stammered, watching Mikey's smile fade. "This is gonna sound so crazy, um... We've never met before, but-"

"Pete, no-" Patrick tried to stop Pete, but there was no stopping him.

"Mikey, I love you. I don't know how I could possibly know that, since I don't even know you, but I saw you walk by, and... I just... I just knew."

"PETE!" Patrick shouted, trying to be the voice of reason.

There was a moment of stunned silence. For a moment, Pete wondered if he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.

"I'm sorry..." he said, sadly. "I just lost my inhibitions for a second there... That was rude of me... I guess I just thought you should know... Since, you know, it's Christmas and stuff... I'll leave you alone."

He turned to walk away, and there was a continued moment of silence.

"Wait!" The silence was broken by Mikey. Pete turned back, to see Mikey, another adorable blush rising to his gorgeous face.

"Pete, why don't you stay with us?" Mikey blushed, the corners of his mouth turning up into a genuinely happy smile and his brown eyes shifting back and forth shyly.

"Really?" Pete smiled. "You'd let me?"

"Of course!" Gerard chimed in, with a grin. "Nobody falls in love with my baby brother without getting to know me! My name's Gerard Way."

"Nice to meet you," Pete said, reaching out to shake Gerard's hand while taking a seat next to Mikey. His sleeve rolled up a little, a bit of his tattooed arm poking through.

"Is that a tattoo?" Mikey asked, softly. "Can I see?"

"Here!" Pete slid off his jacket, revealing his heavily tattooed arms. Mikey seemed impressed, Gerard didn't.

"Hold on," Mikey said, observing Pete's right arm. "Are those characters from The Nightmare Before Christmas?"

"Yeah," Pete replied, with a blush. "I love that movie."

"Me too!" Mikey marveled, completely starry-eyed.

"So, who's your friend?" Gerard asked. Patrick was caught off guard: he was so surprised by Pete's successful meet-up with Mikey that he'd forgotten to leave.

"Oh, um, I was just leaving-"

"This is Patrick," Pete introduced. "He's my best friend."

"Why don't you sit with us?" Gerard asked, politely. "I don't wanna be a third wheel here."

"Yeah, stay," Pete smiled. Patrick was fuming on the inside, but he didn't let it show. He mustered up a smile and politely joined the table, not letting anyone know he was dying inside.

"This wouldn't have happened on a plane," he thought to himself, as he sat down.


	2. A Match Made In Heaven, A Match Made On A Train

"Want some of my cinnamon roll?"

Pete perked up immediately, looking over at Gerard with wide-eyed enthusiasm.

"You'd let me have some?" He smiled. "Really?"

"Of course!" Gerard pushed his plate closer to Pete happily. "Have as much as you want. I shouldn't be eating that much sugar anyway."

"Thank you!" Pete unwrapped a set of silverware that sat at the table and picked at the cinnamon roll gingerly, savoring every small bite he took.

"Pete, you can't just share food with a total stranger," Patrick warned. "What are you thinking?"

"Oh no, I don't mind at all," Gerard smiled, scooping up a bite of the cinnamon roll with his own fork. "I grew up sharing everything with my family. Sharing is second nature to  
us. Right, Mikes?"

"It's true,"' Mikey added, with a soft chuckle.

"You guys are so sweet," Pete gushed, his cheeks turning a brighter shade of pink as Mikey looked at him.

"Please, don't mention it." Gerard flicked a few locks of red hair out of his face as he spoke. "So, Pete, Patrick, what's your story?"

"What do you mean?" Patrick  interjected, before Pete could start running his mouth.

"What's your story?" Gerard repeated. "Who are you guys? What brought you here? Where are you off too? What's happening to you at the end of the tracks?"

Patrick struggled to hold back an annoyed groan as Gerard began to ask questions.

"We're on our way to LA," Pete explained, cheerily. "We're meeting a couple friends of ours there."

"LA, huh?" Mikey leaned in slightly closer to Pete as he spoke. "That's pretty far away. What is it, three days away?"

"Four," Pete corrected.  "We were gonna take a plane, but this damn snowstorm grounded us."

"God, I wouldn't want to fly in this weather." Gerard gestured to the window next to him, showcasing the dramatic snowstorm in all it's terrifying glory. 

"We haven't felt it personally," Mikey explained. "It's been over a day since we've set foot outside this train, but it was pretty cold over in New York."

"Oh, is that where you're from?" Pete asked.

"Jersey, actually," Gerard corrected. "But we haven't been back there in a while."

"Where've you been?" Pete prodded.

"All around the country," Mikey blurted, excitedly.

"Yeah, we've been taking this kind of extended vacation for a little while now," Gerard added, clearing things up. "It's time he and I went out and saw what's out there, you know?"

"You guys seem to have a lot of time," Patrick commented, bluntly. "Are you unemployed or something?"

"Patrick, oh my god!" Pete interjected.

"No, no, it's a logical question," Gerard admitted, taking another bite of his cinnamon roll. "I guess you could say that, uh... what's your name again?"

"Patrick," Patrick introduced himself once more.

"Patrick," Gerard repeated, a warm grin rising to his face. "I won't forget that. What was I saying aga- Oh yeah! I think the technical term for what we are is 'retired.'"

"Retired?" Patrick was taken aback by Gerard' choice of wording. "What are you guys, like, mid-twenties? How are you retired? Are you two genius businessmen or something?"

"Hell no!" Gerard recoiled. "God, I'd die before I'd become a businessman! No, Mikey and I are musicians. We were in a band together with our friends for years."

"Oh!" Patrick tried to make it seem like he was interested, but in reality, he had just lost any interest he would've had in the conversation. All he could think abut was how he would've been away from all of this in a plane.

"We weren't too popular on the radio and stuff, but we had quite a following," Mikey gushed.

"Mikey, stop," Gerard cautioned. "You shouldn't brag."

"I think it's awesome you guys were in a band together," Pete blushed. "What kind of music did you do?"

"Emo," Gerard put a hand up to his mouth gently and laughed softly as he spoke. "Those definitely weren't my proudest years, fashion-wise."

"Believe me, I know what you're talking about." Pete chuckled to himself softly as well. "I was in an emo band back when I was younger. Believe it or not, I was the emo one."

"Oh I can believe that," Gerard commented. "Don't get me wrong, I like the blonde thing you've got going on, but I can easily picture you with a black fringe and eyeliner singing about heartbreak."

"I wasn't the singer, actually," Pete corrected. "That was Patrick. I played bass and wrote the words."

"No way," Mikey gasped. "I was the bass player of my band!"

"Aww!" Gerard blushed softly. "It's a match made in heaven!"

Mikey rolled his eyes at his brother, but he did so playfully, a wide smile on his face and a bright red blush on his cheeks. 

"Patrick, did he say you're a singer?" Gerard asked, crossing one hand over the other politely as he spoke.

"No!" Patrick shook his head violently. "I sang in the band, but I don't sing anymore. It's not something I'm great at."

"Liar!" Pete interjected. "He's fantastic! Patrick, sing something! Prove my point!"

"What?" Patrick recoiled. "I'm not singing here-"

"Just do it!" Pete argued.

"You don't have to," Gerard placed a hand on Patrick's shoulder, causing Patrick to flinch unexpectedly. 

"Oh, um," Patrick blushed and looked away, totally uncomfortable with the fact that a stranger had just touched him and made direct eye contact unexpectedly. He wasn't used to such boldness from strangers. "Thank you."

"Mikey," Pete leaned in a little closer to Mikey. "I'm dying for a drink. Would you mind showing me where they are?"

"Sure," Mikey beamed, without hesitation. The two of them rose from their seats and Mikey led the way away from the table.

"Be careful, you two!" Gerard called out, simply to embarrass Mikey. Mikey looked back and narrowed his eyes playfully at his brother before continuing to walk away. Gerard and Patrick were left on their own, in awkward silence, neither one knowing how to start a conversation.

"I'm sorry," Patrick apologized. "I don't know what got into him."

"Who, Pete?" Gerard questioned, his voice soft and delicate. "Why would you apologize for him?"

"He interrupted a really important moment," Patrick blushed with embarrassment. "Well, he and I did. It was inconsiderate of us."

"I think Pete's a gem," Gerard giggled softly. "I mean, I don't know him, but I'm good at judging character, and judging by what I've seen, I like him."

"Really?" Patrick huffed. "You're not the least bit worried?"

"A little," Gerard admitted. "I mean, that's my baby brother. I'm always gonna be worried about him, but hey, love at first sight could happen, right? What if they're really meant for each other? I'm not gonna take that away from him just because the idea is foreign to me."

"Let me guess," Patrick ventured. "You watch Hallmark Movies, don't you?"

"I do," Gerard blushed.

"Figures," Patrick snickered bitterly.

"What? Don't believe in love at first sight?" Gerard ventured, playing along with Patrick's game.

"I've got this whole conversation mapped out in my head," Patrick chuckled, having fun with the conversation in spite of himself. "I'm gonna say that I don't, you're gonna ask me about my tragic backstory, I'm gonna say no, and it's all gonna end with you trying to help me find the true meaning of Christmas or something."

"Damn," Gerard chuckled. "You've got me figured out already. That's impressive."

"What's going on?"

Mikey and Pete had returned from the drink cart, each of them with mugs in each hand. 

"Nothin'," Gerard smiled, turning away from Patrick and to Pete and Mikey. "What'cha got there?"

"They have peppermint hot chocolate!" Mikey exclaimed, sliding a mug topped with whipped cream and a small, curled candy cane over to Gerard. 

"Hell yeah!" Gerard scooped up some of the whipped cream with his finger and gave it a taste quickly. "What'd you guys get?"

"Same thing," Pete said, setting his mug down on the table and sliding into his seat. Mikey sat next to him, blushing softly, like a schoolchild with a crush.

"Really?" Patrick scoffed, with a slight chuckle. "Peppermint hot chocolate? Pete, we're adults."

"I knew you'd say that," Pete sighed, rolling his eyes and sliding a fourth mug over to Patrick. "Here."

"What's this?" Patrick eyed the drink, a brown liquid adorned with a small candy cane on the edge.

"Peppermint tea," Pete explained. "I dunno, I just thought you should have a hot peppermint drink too. Is that a boring, grown-up enough alternative for you?"

"Oh," Patrick blushed, genuinely surprised by Pete's simple yet kind and thoughtful gesture. "Um, yeah. Thank you."

"You don't like hot chocolate?" Gerard asked.

"No," Patrick answered. "Well, I really shouldn't say that, I've never tried it."

"What?" Gerard reacted as if his entire world had stopped for a moment. "You've never tried hot chocolate? Why not?"

"Holy smokes," Patrick exclaimed. "Don't you think you're overreact-"

"No," Gerard interrupted. "I don't think I'm overreacting. Here, have some of mine."

He slid his mug closer to Patrick, which he immediately pushed back.

"No thanks," he politely declined. "I'm good. I shouldn't be having that much sugar anyway."

"Okay," Gerard took his mug back, shiftily gazing over at Patrick and taking a small sip. Not only was Patrick turning down the opportunity to taste hot chocolate, he was sarcastically parroting something he had said earlier. 

Pete and Mikey had exited the conversation completely and were having a hushed conversation amongst themselves, giggling and sipping their hot chocolate like best friends.

Patrick looked on at the passengers on the train who surrounded him. In a pair of seats next to him, a brown-haired man and a redheaded woman napped together, cuddled closely and wrapped in a fluffy white blanket. In another set of seats, a group of girls in fancy fluffy jackets huddled together and gossiped, all of them with a smile and a high-pitched laugh. He noticed a few more couples in the seats around him, one of which with a teenage son in tow, and a few other groups of people. Then, there was the group he was in: two pairs of friends, all ex-emo band members, two of whom had fallen completely in love in less than half an hour, one of whom who was watching on proudly, and then, there was himself.

Everyone on the train seemed happy and content; Patrick shifted uncomfortably, noticing that he was the only one in the entire car that seemed unhappy. It was a weird feeling, knowing that he was the only outsider in a train car full of love and happiness.

He didn't feel sad; he just felt disgusted. He was out of place. He wanted to get up and leave that damned conversation behind. He didn't care how rude he seemed.

But he didn't. Something was holding him back, but he didn't know what.


	3. The Parallels

*Day 2*

"Hey man, you awake?" Pete knocked on the door of Patrick's sleeping compartment and pushed the ground door open softly, peering in.

"Jesus, Pete," Patrick grumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Don't you know you can't just open doors on people?"

"We were in a band together for years, Patrick," Pete quipped, narrowing his eyes. "Nothing shocks me. Whatever the worst case scenario of me opening the door on you is, I think I've seen it already."

"Doesn't mean it isn't rude," Patrick yawned loudly, grabbing a pair of black glasses from the night table next to him and positioning them on his face. "It's a shame these doors don't lock."

"Stop complaining," Pete pestered, with a playful sigh. "At least you got to sleep in a bed. It's not like I took you camping or something."

"What're you here for?" Patrick changed the subject quickly, sitting up and pushing the covers off of himself.

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to join Gerard, Mikey and I for some breakfast," Pete invited, in a delicate yet joyous voice.

"You woke me up to ask me that?" Patrick scoffed, crossing his legs and sitting upright on his bed as he spoke. "You know I'm gonna say no, why bother waking me up?"

"No?" Pete repeated, his smile fading from his face.

"What did you think I was gonna say?Who do you think I am?"

"You're not understanding me," Pete exhaled. "I need you to come hang with us. Breakfast is just a bonus."

"What do you need me for?" Patrick complained.

"Look, I'm gonna be straight with you," Pete affirmed.

"Stop right there," Patrick halted the conversation. "That's a lie already."

"Okay, that was pretty good," Pete chuckled, in spite of himself. "That was good. I do need you there, though."

"Why?" Patrick griped, slouching with annoyance.

"I wanna spend some time alone with Mikey," Pete admitted, with a heavy blush. "I can't do that with his brother looming over us. I need you to keep him company."

"Pete," Patrick sighed. "You've known Mikey for less than twenty-four hours. We're on a train in compartments that aren't soundproof. The doors don't lock. His brother is here. You're really gonna try and have sex with him now?"

"No!" Pete defended. "I never meant it like that! I just want to try and get to know him, you know?"

"You can't do that with Gerard there?"

"Patrick, have you ever tried to talk to someone you're interested in with their brother watching your every move?" Pete asked. "It's nerve-racking."

"Gerard likes you," Patrick spilled. "He told me."

"He can't possibly trust me with his younger brother though," Pete admitted. "On top of the fact that I'm a stranger, Gerard's probably protective. Maybe if you hang out with him, it'll give us a little more freedom."

"Pete, that's-"

"I'm not asking for much," Pete pleaded. "Patrick, I'm in love with Mikey. I really want this to last. I don't want him to think I'm boring or weird and ditch me after we get off this train. All I'm asking for is a day to really get him on my side. I need your help. Is that too much to ask?"

Patrick sighed, knowing full well that he didn't want to spend his day with Gerard, but also that he could never say no to Pete. Especially when he was in such a vulnerable place.

"Fine!" He huffed. "I'll do my best, but that doesn't mean-"

"Thank you!" Pete rushed forward and wrapped Patrick in a tight hug, causing both of them to topple backwards. "Thank you, Patrick! You have no idea how much this means to me!"

"Yeah, okay," Patrick stammered, trying to push Pete off of him. "Pete, get off of me."

"No," Pete stated. "You're gonna hug me and you're gonna like it!" 

"Pete, you're my best friend and I'd die for you, but I can can't deal with this." He pushed pete off of him and stood up quickly, before Pete could wrap him up again. "Sorry. I don't hug."

"Why not?" Pete pouted defeatedly. "What's wrong with hugs?"

"I dunno," Patrick shrugged. "Just let it be."

"Seriously, did something happen to you as a child?" Pete questioned.

"You're making me not want to help you," Patrick threatened, with narrowed eyes.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Pete stammered apologetically. "I'll leave it be."

"I doubt that," Patrick muttered to himself. 

"What?"

"Nothing." Patrick shivered and rubbed his bare arms with his hands for a moment. "Woah, it's cold!"

"You need something with sleeves," Pete commented. "The snow's not letting up."

"Can't the people running the train just turn the heat up a little?" Patrick asked, putting his hands up to his mouth and breathing some warm air onto them.

"I'm sure they're working on it," Pete sighed, unaware of what else to say. "Get some warm clothes on for now, though. Gerard and Mikey are probably waiting for us."

"Damn, give me a minute," Patrick snipped, sitting back down on the bed and slipping a pair of shoes over his already-socked feet. "You know if they're gonna have anything good for breakfast?"

"If that cinnamon roll was any indication, then yes." Pete seemed to zone out of reality and into a dreamy haze as he recalled the cinnamon roll.

"Pete!" Patrick called, waving a hand over Pete's face. "Come back now."

"Sorry," Pete said, shaking off the thought. "What were you saying?"

"Didn't say anything," Patrick chuckled. "Wow, you really are my pet dog, aren't you?"

"Shut up," Pete brushed the comment off with sarcastic annoyance. "No I'm not."

"Oh really?" Patrick grabbed a thick and comfortable yet quite plain blue sweater from his luggage and pulled it over his head quickly. "Pete, there's a squirrel behind you."

"Squirrel? Where?" Pete turned his head quickly, and saw nothing there. It was a brief moment before he realized there was no squirrel there, nor had there ever been.

"This proves nothing." He turned back to face Patrick. "If you tell someone there's a squirrel on a train, they're gonna look for it. It's not like I'm-"

"Oh hi, Mikey." Patrick greeted, with a small wave.

"Mikey! Hey! It's so good to s-" Pete whipped around quickly to face Mikey, but once again, he realized that nothing was there behind him.

"Patrick, this isn't funny!" Pete whined. 

"Calm down, boy," Patrick chuckled, having some fun. "You're fine."

"At least I'm not wearing a sweater that doesn't fit me." Pete rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"You and I both know they don't sell sweaters my size," Patrick debated, pointing an accusatory finger at Pete. "This one was the last one they had."

"Are you pointing at me?" Pete asked, with a chuckle. "Because I can't see your hand with the sleeve covering it."

"Oh, can't see my finger, huh?" Patrick pulled his sleeve back a little bit and flipped Pete off playfully. "That clear enough for ya?"

"C'mon," Pete smiled, making Patrick smile too. "Let's go."

Patrick followed Pete reluctantly. He'd half hoped Pete would tell him he could go back to bed, but that just didn't seem to be the case.

***

"Gerard, I'm nervous," Mikey stammered, tapping his fingers against the bed he sat on timidly. "I don't even know why, I just-"

"You love him," Gerard reassured, not taking his gaze away from the mirror in front of him. "You're nervous because you don't wanna look bad in front of him or something, I dunno."

"Love?" Mikey purred, with a blush. "Do... do you really think it's love? Do you really think he could be... my One?" 

"Maybe," Gerard picked up a fluffy makeup brush and swiped some foundation onto his face as he spoke. "Maybe one of those Christmas miracles finally got tossed your way."

"You know those things are only in movies, right?" Mikey blushed.

"Oh really?" Gerard grabbed a second fluffy makeup brush and began to blend the foundation into his skin. "We board a train around Christmastime, you tell me you're gay, and a second later, Pete shows up and tells you he loves you? Sounds pretty miraculous to me."

Mikey looked at the ground nervously, blushing and grinning.

"It does." He looked back up at Gerard. "It really does."

"Pass my bronzer?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah, uh..." Mikey grabbed Gerard's makeup bag and began to search through it. "...Which one is it again?"

"God, Mikey," Gerard teased, playfully. "You've been my assistant for, what, your whole life now? It should be obvious."

"Here," Mikey tossed a square case over to Gerard quickly. "You know, I'd be a better assistant if you weren't such a diva. Why do you have so many of these damn things anyway?"

"If you knew how much makeup the girls I've dated had in their inventory, you'd realize I really don't have that much." Gerard popped open the case Mikey had handed him, only to shut it a second afterwards. "Mikey, this isn't bronzer. This is contour."

"What's the difference?" Mikey argued. "They're both brown powders. Just use that."

"What I wouldn't give to have an actual assistant," Gerard said, letting out a dejected sigh. "Here. I'll get it myself."

"You can afford an assistant if you really want, you know?" Mikey ventured. "We're not exactly struggling money-wise..."

"When will you learn?" Gerard brushed some bronzer on his face as he spoke. "Just because we have money now doesn't mean we'll have it forever. Were not going onstage anymore, so I've decided that I'm gonna live a more humble life. I can't force you to, but I hope you do too."

He snapped his bronzer case shut and searched through his bag for an eyeshadow palette.

"Plus, I was only joking about wanting an assistant," He sighed, dabbing on a bit of brown and gold eyeshadow diligently. "Why would I want an assistant when I've got you to get me stuff?"

"I'm not exactly handy," Mikey chuckled. "I don't even know what half of this stuff is."

"I can label them," Gerard chuckled, looking over at Mikey with a warm grin. "I just need some tape. Or some post-its. Easy peasy. Could you grab my eyeliner? I'm pretty sure you know what that looks like."

"Here," Mikey tossed his brother the eyeliner pen without missing a beat.

"Thanks a bunch," Gerard quickly said, lining his eyes quickly. He then swiped on some mascara before spraying his face with some setting powder and admiring his work in the mirror.

"I like it." He smiled and posed for the mirror, admiring his work for a moment. "I think I look pretty. Mikey?"

"Yeah, you did a good job." Mikey stood up, grabbing a coat from a hook on the wall and pulling it on. "Pete and Patrick are probably waiting for us there."

"Patrick's gonna be there?" Gerard was taken aback at the suggestion.

"I think so," Mikey backtracked, carefully. "What's going on?" 

"I dunno about this," Gerard was looking at his reflection once again, this time with a hint of insecurity and perhaps fear written on his face. "Do you think I should tone it down on the makeup?"

"What?" Mikey scoffed, as if the idea was preposterous. "Are you kidding me? You're the one telling me to be bold and confident all the time. When did you get so insecure?"

"He doesn't like me," Gerard blurted. "This is gonna make me look a little in-your-face. I don't wanna get on his bad side and come between you and Pete."

"You're crazy," Mikey stated, matter-of-factly. "I think you two just need to get used to each other. You really don't know him, you know? You'll be uncomfortable for a while, I'm guessing. This stuff takes time."

"Speak for yourself," Gerard chuckled nervously.

"Look," Mikey spoke matter-of-factly. "I'll be with you. All you gotta do is talk to him, and before you know it, you'll feel better."

Gerard smiled and looked up at his brother gratefully.

"Thank you, Mikey." He wrapped Mikey up into a tight hug, which was returned warmly. "Thank you for everything you do. I love you."

"I love you too, Gee," Mikey exhaled, happily. "Let's get out there and kick some ass."

"I like the sound of that."


	4. The Opposites

"Hey, Pete..." Mikey timidly purred.

"Mikey! Hi!" Pete stammered, stopping in front of Mikey, taking a moment to admire the beauty that stood in front of him before even attempting to utter another word. "Good to... good to see you again..." 

"Oh god," Patrick thought to himself. "He's already messing up."

"Pete, don't be nervous," Mikey giggled, completely flattered by Pete's nervous affection. "It's just me you're talking to." 

"Just me," Pete scoffed. "How could someone as perfect as you ever describe yourself as 'just me?' It's... it's not possible... shoot, I'm messing it all up..."

It was difficult for Patrick to discern which of the three people around him was blushing the hardest. He gave up his quest to figure that out, however, when his eyes landed on Gerard. Gerard looked up, and as soon as he noticed that Patrick was looking at him, his smile disappeared and he suddenly seemed flustered. Patrick had noticed the makeup, and wanted to ask about it, but judging by the unusually timid reaction Gerard had shown him, he felt it was best to keep quiet. At least for a little bit.

"Want to sit down?" Mikey redirected the entire group to a booth right next to a big window. There was nothing to see besides snow and occasionally a small glimpse of a mountain.

"Hello," a waitress dropped by their table and picked up a notepad cheerily. "My name's Ashley, I'll be your server. Can I interest you in a cup of peppermint hot chocolate? It's our specialty!"

"Sure thing!" Pete spoke first.

"Me too!" Mikey chimed in.

"That sounds delicious," Gerard spoke softly yet clearly. "I'll have one too." 

"So that's three peppermint hot chocolates," Ashley jotted down. "And you? Lemme guess: peppermint hot chocolate?"

"No thanks," Patrick declined. "I'll have a coffee."

"Any cream and sugar?" Ashley asked.

"No thanks," Patrick once again declined.

"Alright then." Ashley tucked away her notepad quickly. "I'll be back with your drinks in a few minutes. Again, I'm Ashley if you need anything."

She walked away, softly humming a Christmas song to herself. She was obviously in a cheery, Christmas-y mood.

"How'd you sleep?" Pete asked, once Ashley was gone.

"Okay, I guess," Mikey shrugged. "It's just that it was cold last night. I had a lot of trouble getting warm."

"What's the deal with that?" Gerard huffed. "It's so cold outside; can't these people just turn up the heat a little?"

"I think the cold is kinda cozy," Pete chimed in, a blush rising to his face. "I mean, you have sweaters, blankets, fireplaces-"

"Cuddling," Mikey blurted, without thinking before he spoke. He blushed and covered his mouth with one of his hands embarrassedly. Pete did the same. Gerard couldn't help but burst out laughing. Patrick, as usual, wished to be anywhere else.

"Mikey!" Gerard guffawed, over-dramatically. "At least give him a chance to kiss you first, damn!"

"Gee!" Mikey hushed, blushing furiously.

"To be fair, you're the one who said it," Gerard chuckled under his breath. Mikey looked out the window, sighing and trying to distract himself from the embarrassing scene.

"It sucks that you can't see anything out of the windows," Mikey commented, looking back over at Pete, who still had a hint of a blush on his face. 

"Have you been to the viewing car?" Pete asked. "The windows are much bigger over there. I'm sure you could see more of you wanted to over there."

"Oh god," Patrick exhaled quietly, knowing full well that Gerard was able to see right through the veil of falsity Pete was trying to put up.

"Really?" Mikey tilted his head as he spoke. "I don't see h-"

"Sounds reasonable enough for me," Gerard chimed in. "Mikey, why don't you and Pete go and see if you can see anything?"

"What?" Mikey perked up, a blush rising to his face.

"Yeah, what?" Patrick chimed in, taking a moment to observe Gerard's makeup without it looking suspicious.

Pete silently shushed Patrick, not wanting to ruin the opportunity he was just given.

"Yeah!" Gerard chirped. "I'm sure you'll be able to take your hot chocolates over there when they come. Why not go?"

"Okay," Mikey spoke, after a short pause. "Pete, would you be up for it?"

"Of course." Pete grinned. "I'd love to."

Their drinks arrived shortly after, and before he knew it, Patrick was once again alone with Gerard. He considered  leaving, but he knew Pete wouldn't be too pleased if he found out.

"Crazy kids," Gerard chuckled, shaking his head softly. "They think they have to keep secrets from me. It's pretty funny, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Patrick chuckled awkwardly. "Crazy kids..."

"How old is Pete?" Gerard asked, trying to strike up a conversation. "He's not that old, is he?"

"Twenty-eight," Patrick answered.

"Okay." Gerard breathed a sigh of relief. "He's Mikey's age. That's good."

"I think it's kinda obvious." Patrick rested his elbows on the table as he spoke. "He looks his age."

"You'd be surprised," Gerard sipped at his hot chocolate delicately. "Lots of people don't look their age."

"Like who?"

"For one thing, people always think Mikey's the older one," Gerard shrugged.

"He's not?" Patrick asked.

"No..." Gerard's brow furrowed. "I told you that yesterday. Do you not remember?"

Patrick suddenly began to feel his heart beat faster in his chest. He could see the disappointment written on Gerard's face and he wanted to fix things, but he knew he'd only make them worse if he explained.

"No," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

Gerard broke eye contact with Patrick and stirred his hot chocolate with a spoon awkwardly.

"Look," he sighed, sadly. "I know you're only here to keep me at bay while Pete and Mikey are away. You don't have to stay if you don't wanna. I'm not gonna be offended."

"Don't say that," Patrick comforted.

"Okay then." Gerard turned to face Patrick. "Look at my face and tell me you wanna be here." 

"Woah, um..." Patrick stammered. "I... um... don't take it personally... I'm... I'm not really... good with new people."

"Is that so?" Gerard snarked, sarcastically. "Is that why you won't look at me directly? Is that why you don't listen to me?"

"I'm sorry," Patrick apologized, this time wholeheartedly. "It's not that I don't like you, it's just that you... you confuse me a little."

"What?" Gerard was less upset than confused.

"I mean, you're not like anyone I've met before," Patrick admitted, timidly. "I mean, the dyed hair, that gaudy biker jacket, the makeup-"

"It's not like you don't confuse me," Gerard snapped back. "I mean, you're closed off, you're rude, and you won't try hot chocolate. Who won't try hot chocolate?"

"Rude?" Patrick repeated. "How can you say I'm rude? You don't even know me!"

"I can tell by the way you talk to Pete." Gerard rolled his eyes. "You say you're his best friend, but all I've seen you do is shoot him down. He's in love. Why can't you let him be in love?"

"He met Mikey a day ago," Patrick reminded. "Hate to break it to you, but this isn't love; infatuation, maybe, but not love."

"What's wrong with you?" Gerard attacked. "Why do you hate love? Did something happen to you? Did someone break your heart? Are you just scared?"

"I don't think that's any of your business," Patrick defended. Gerard took a deep breath and took a moment to compose himself.

"Look," he spat, hushing his voice a little bit. "You don't have to be in love with love, but that doesn't give you the right to attack them. They'll figure everything out on their own time, but right now, they're two kids in love. Let them be two kids in love, okay?"

Patrick rolled his eyes and sipped at his coffee silently.

"I think you and I got off on the wrong foot," Gerard ventured, with a gulp. "You think I'm weird, I think you're weird, but let's be real: you and I aren't that different."

"How's that?" Patrick asked. "How are we similar?"

"We're both people with best friends we want to keep safe," Gerard started. "We've both got feelings and vulnerabilities, even though you don't wanna admit it. We're both outcasts, even though you try so hard not to be."

Patrick was silent; he was unable to argue with Gerard's examples.

"The main similarity is that we're both here on this train right now." Gerard brushed some bright red locks of hair out of his face. "That should be the only similarity that matters! Out of the hundreds of people on this train, I met you! Out of the millions of people in this country, I met you! Out of the billions of people on this planet, I met you! You can't honestly sit there and tell me you don't think that's even a little bit incredible! Now can you do both of us a favor and stop being so mean to me?"

Patrick paused a moment, looking for the words to say in response but finding nothing. Gerard sighed tiredly.

"Can we start over?" He asked, his eyes widening innocently. "I really want to be friends with you, and I think it could work if both of us are willing to make it work. Whaddaya say, Patrick?"

Patrick looked at his own hands for a moment, tossing the thought around in his head. He knew he didn't really do 'friendship,' but for some reason, he liked the idea of being friends with Gerard. Perhaps it was because of his honesty. Maybe he needed someone in his life to challenge him. Maybe he just wanted to make sure Gerard knew he wasn't really such a bad person. Either way, he felt a small smile rise to his face as he turned back to face Gerard.

"Starting over sounds like a great idea." He felt happy; something he hadn't really felt in a long time. Gerard did as well.

"I'm Gerard Way," Gerard introduced himself with a giggle and offered his hand for Patrick to shake.

"Patrick Stump," Patrick replied, playing along with Gerard's act and shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." Gerard smiled brightly, instantly making Patrick feel a little happier.

"I didn't mean what I said before about you being weird," Patrick muttered, apologetically. "I like your makeup, and-"

"We're starting over," Gerard reminded. "So I have no idea what you're talking about. I like that you like my makeup, though."

"I do," Patrick admitted. "Um..."

"What?"

"I wanted to ask you something, but I'm trying to find a way to ask it without sounding insensitive," Patrick stated.

"Just ask," Gerard grinned. "Go ahead. It can't be that bad."

"Okay, um..." Patrick blushed. "Do you, um... do you want me to call you 'she?' I'm totally okay with it if you do, I just want to make sure-"

He was cut off by Gerard's laughter.

"Okay, um, that didn't come out right," Patrick blushed furiously out of embarrassment.

"No, no!" Gerard grabbed Patrick's shoulder bracingly as he tried to halt his laughter long enough to talk. "I'm only laughing because that was so cute!"

"Cute?" Patrick asked.

"Yeah!" Gerard seemed to be calming down a bit. "You were so scared to ask, and I just... that's so considerate of you! Not a lot of people would ask that! It's sweet! And the way you asked it was just adorable!"

Patrick smiled and exhaled his fear, feeling his heart rate slow down and then immediately speed back up when Gerard looked at him.

"To answer your question, I go by 'he,'" Gerard clarified. "I'm just kind of feminine. I know it's a little weird-"

"No, I understand," Patrick assured. "I think it's brave of you. You're being who you are and I think it looks great. I really do. Power to you."

"Thanks," Gerard blushed, batting his eyelashes playfully. "Do you really think I'm pretty?"

"I think you're beautiful," Patrick played along with Gerard's game, but as he took another look at Gerard, he began to realize that there was a bit of truth to what he'd just said. 

"Yeah. Beautiful."


	5. The Buildup

*Day 3*

"Oh my god, Patrick," Pete blabbed, sitting cross legged on top of his bed as Patrick pushed the blankets off of himself and woke up to the sound of Pete's voice. "You would not believe what happened yesterday. You just wouldn't believe me if I told you. If you were there, you would've been as amazed as I was."

"Pete, you've been talking all night and all morning and you still haven't told me what happened," Patrick groaned tiredly, sitting up as well. "Just spit it out."

"Okay, since you asked," Pete started, excitedly grinning. "Mikey and I went to the viewing car together and we found these perfect seats right in the middle. It looked like the whole world was ours. I mean, we couldn't really see anything because of the snow, but things cleared up a few times. Just enough for us to catch a glimpse of a mountain or something. You know, the funny thing about snow is-"

"Pete, you're going on a tangent," Patrick chimed in.

"Sorry, I'm just so excited! I'll get back to the story." Pete shook off his thoughts quickly. "So, Mikey and I were sitting there, looking out the window. Our hot chocolates were making the window steam up, which reminded me of that one scene in Titanic, only without the sex going on-"

"Pete! The story!"

"Sorry. So, we were looking out the window, and then suddenly, bam! The lights all went out! The bulb must've flickered out for a second when we went through a tunnel. We were freaked out for a second, but when those lights came back on, oh my god..."

"What happened?" Patrick leaned in, genuinely interested in the story. "Keep going."

"When those lights flicked back on," Pete seemed to get chills simply by reliving the memory. "He looked at me. He had that little hint of fear on his face that you get when something startles you, but then, he started laughing. I guess he was laughing at himself for getting so scared, but..." 

He paused, taking a second to smile in all of his starry-eyed glory.

"You should've seen the way he looked right then... you should've heard what he sounded like when he laughed... It was just... I've never felt so... ugh, I can't even find the words to describe it. I've never felt anything like that in my entire life."

"What happened next?" Patrick inquired, resting his chin on his hands as he leaned forward. "Did you kiss him?"

Pete shook his head.

"I wanted to," he blushed. "I really did, but no."

"Why not?" Patrick teased playfully. "The opportunity was right there! Why didn't you act on it?"

"I couldn't ruin the moment." Pete picked up his bag and pulled out a notebook and a pen quickly. "I just couldn't do it."

"So you chickened out?" Patrick giggled as he spoke.

"I didn't chicken out," Pete defended, flipping open his notebook to an empty page and laying it down on his lap. "That moment was perfect; I finally understand what all those dumb love songs are trying to say."

"I don't get it. Wouldn't kissing him have made the moment better?"

Pete scoffed, removing the cap from the pen with his teeth.

"It sounds ridiculous, I know," Pete took the pen in his right hand and began to scribble something down on the page of his notebook. "But moments like that one only come around once in a lifetime: time slowed down for me. I heard the violins and the piano. Lyrics started popping into my head. I felt like I was in a movie."

"Wow," Patrick exclaimed, genuinely captivated by the story. "That's... amazing!"

"You act all sarcastic, but if you were as in love as I am, you'd understand."

"I'm not being sarca-"

"Sure you aren't," Pete enunciated, sarcastically. "You know what? I was starting to think I was gonna die alone. I really believed that I'd go through the rest of my life without knowing real love. Then, I looked into his eyes, and I realized: that's the face I want to wake up to every day for the rest of my life. I've finally found my purpose: making Mikey Way feel like the most important person on earth until the day I die."

"That's beautiful," Patrick gushed. "Pete, I'm really happy for you."

"Patrick, I know you hate love." Pete reached out and grabbed Patrick's hand as he spoke. "But I've never been as happy as I am right now. You're not gonna like that I'm saying this, but I hope one day you find something that makes you as happy as being with Mikey makes me."

Patrick smiled and squeezed Pete's hand gently.

"Thank you." He smiled brightly. Pete recoiled, a sort of pleased confusion on his face.

"Okay." He pulled his hand away timidly. "What's all this?"

"What?" Patrick asked.

"You're... smiling." Pete observed. "You're not being sarcastic or bitter, you're not complaining, you're actually happy. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing!" Patrick defended. "Can't I just be happy?"

"Something's up," Pete grinned. "I'm gonna leave it alone because I know you don't want to talk about it, but I know."

He smiled brightly.

"Patrick, can I tell you something?" Pete asked, looking as if he were about to burst if he didn't speak. "I was gonna keep it secret, but I have to tell someone. I can't keep it to myself anymore."

"What is it?" Patrick inquired, leaning in closer to hear Pete.

"I'm gonna give Mikey a mistletoe kiss," Pete said, in a hushed voice. "I found some mistletoe and I put it over the doorframe of the dining car. I made reservations for dinner tonight and I'm gonna make sure Mikey and I walk under it together."

Patrick gasped as he listened to the story.

"That's so romantic!" He gushed. "I can't believe it! I can't wait to see this at dinner!"

"What?" Pete exclaimed. "Wait, you want to be there? Why?" 

"This is a big moment for you!" Patrick explained. "As your best friend, I feel like I should be there to support you and Mikey."

"Who are you?" Pete scoffed, now more worried than happy. "Seriously, what happened to you? You're acting strange. Are you feeling okay?"

Patrick stopped for a moment and considered what he was saying; it was very unlike him. It wasn't until then he realized just how unhappy he'd been before he boarded the train.

"Yeah," he replied. "I really want to come with you."

"Okay," Pete agreed, furrowing his brow. "But I'm actually starting to worry about you. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, Pete," Patrick assured. "I am."

"Fine." Pete continued to write in his book. "I've got my eyes on you, though."

Patrick wondered if maybe he needed someone to keep an eye on him. He wondered if maybe something really was wrong with him.

***

"Looks like we're the first ones here." 

Gerard sat at the table, his hands elegantly clasped in front of him, his eyes coated in an elegant layer of glittery red and smoky black eyeshadow and his outfit consisting of all black with a thin red tie.

"Hey," Patrick replied, taking a seat across from Gerard. "I like the look."

"Thanks," Gerard grinned. "It's a more elegant take on how I looked in my emo days. I dunno, I felt like bringing it back tonight. My hair's not black anymore, but it still looks good, I think."

"I like it," Patrick felt the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile. "If I had one suggestion, though-"

"I know what you're gonna say," Gerard sighed. "Lose the hat?"

Patrick nodded.

"Thanks for telling it like it is." Gerard took the black fedora off of his head and set it on the table in front of him. "This friend of mine got it for me. Said it'd make me look 'artistic' or something. I just think it makes me look like a jerk."

"To be fair, not a lot of people can pull off a fedora," Patrick consoled. "I mean, a lot of people who wear fedoras should pull them off... and then toss 'em into the garbage."

"Ouch," Gerard laughed. "That was good, though. I gotta admit."

"Thanks," Patrick blushed. Gerard looked at him for a moment, taking in exactly what he saw in front of him.

"What?" Patrick was suddenly feeling self conscious.

"I wanna see something. Lean in closer real quick." Gerard beckoned Patrick to move forward, which Patrick obeyed timidly. "Here."

Gerard grabbed the fedora from the table and placed it on Patrick's head quickly.

"There," he said. "Lemme see."

Patrick sat back and a smile rose to Gerard's face as he saw him. Then, he laughed softly.

"What?" Patrick asked. "Do I look like a jerk now?"

"No," Gerard huffed, excitedly. "I mean, this is gonna sound bad, but it... it really suits you. Like, in a good way. I'm not even kidding."

"Does it?" Patrick grabbed his phone from his pocket and quickly looked at himself with the front facing camera. "What? This is so weird... I like it!"

"Well, its yours now," Gerard smiled softly. "Keep it."

"No, I can't," Patrick objected, taking off the hat and handing it back to Gerard. "I can't take it from you."

"I insist," Gerard pushed. "Keep it. It's my Christmas gift to you."

Patrick smiled and fit the hat back on his head.

"Thank you." He looked at his phone again and observed the time. "Gosh, where is Pete?"

"They're so late," Gerard huffed. "Maybe they ditched us. Maybe they're making out in one of our sleeping compartments."

Patrick couldn't stifle a laugh as he heard Gerard say that.

"Whats so funny?" Gerard demanded. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Yeah," Patrick sighed, regretfully. "Look, I wasn't supposed to tell you, but Pete's got something special planned for tonight."

"WHAT?" Gerard shouted.

"No, no!" Patrick shouted back. "It's not like that! He's just gonna kiss Mikey under that mistletoe over the entrance! He told me earlier!"

"What?" Gerard gasped, quietly. "That's so romantic! Oh my god, my baby brother's gonna get a mistletoe kiss! How many people can say they've had a mistletoe kiss? I can't! Can you?"

"No, but you need to keep your voice down," Patrick hushed gently. "They could walk in any minute, we can't spoil the surprise. Just let it be. Play cool."

"Cool... I can be cool." Despite Gerard's declaration, his voice cracked as he spoke. "Do you think they'd notice if I filmed it?"

"You gotta be inconspicuous," Patrick suggested. "Pretend you're texting or something. They won't suspect a thing."

"Here they come!" Gerard shouted, in a whisper. He took out his phone and pressed record, keeping as straight a face as possible as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Patrick pretended to look at a menu at first, but after a little while, he turned his attention to Pete and Mikey.

"He's gonna do it!" Gerard mouthed, to Patrick. Patrick shushed him by pressing a finger to his own lips silently, but couldn't hold back a smile as he watched. 

Pete walked through the door, hand-in-hand with Mikey, and pulled him in closely before they could enter. Mikey looked confused at first, but soon enough was looking up at the top of the doorframe. He'd noticed the mistletoe. By that point, the entire car full of people had collectively gasped and fallen silent in anticipation. Mikey clapped his hands to his mouth in shock, a blush rising to his face. Pete smiled with satisfaction. His plan was about to work.

"What are you waiting for?" Gerard whispered quietly. "Kiss him!" 

Patrick chuckled softly at Gerard's accidental reference, but kept his eyes locked on the mistletoe.

Without much hesitation, both Pete and Mikey had wrapped their arms around each other and had started kissing romantically. The entire car began to clap and yell enthusiastically as the kiss continued and even for a few moments after it had ended. They were blushing furiously, but their faces were both adorned with big grins.

"What a scene." Patrick turned to look at Gerard, only to find streams of black rolling down his face.

"Wow," he whimpered. "I did not expect to cry tonight... I wouldn't have put on makeup if I knew."

"Hey, it's okay," Patrick comforted. "Let it out."

"It's okay, I'm done." Gerard wiped his face with a napkin and exhaled shakily. "I'm done."

"Hey guys," Mikey timidly greeted, walking up to the table, hand-in-hand with Pete. "Sorry we're late."

"I'm not done." More streams of black ran down his face as he looked up at his brother. "That was beautiful... congratulations, you two!"

"Thanks," Pete beamed, looking over at Mikey with eyes full of total admiration. "That was incredible."

"I agree," Mikey blushed.

Patrick was in the worst situation he could possibly be in: he was trapped on a train during the holiday season, surrounded by strangers and sappy love. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why he'd never felt happier in his life.

***

"You guys think we should go?" Pete asked, looking around and seeing everyone leaving the car in droves.

"It's curfew, I think," Gerard commented. "It's probably time to go."

The four of them stood up and began to file out with the rest of the people in the car. Pete and Mikey said their goodbyes, and soon enough, Mikey and Gerard were off to their own sleeping compartment. Patrick was about to leave too, when he felt something tug on his sleeve, holding him back. It was Pete.

"Hey, Trick," he beamed. "Hang back a sec?" 

"Um, okay," Patrick agreed. "I don't think we should stay long, though. The staff are already starting to leave."

"This'll only take a second." Pete stepped in a little closer to Patrick. "I just wanted to say thank you."

He paused, trying to keep his composure.

"This was a really big moment for me and it means so much that you wanted to be here. It means a lot that you did this."

"Of course, Pete." Patrick pulled Pete in for a tight and meaningful hug. "Anything for you."

"You're hugging me!" Pete exclaimed, hugging Patrick back. "I can't believe it! You... You're happy, you're finally hugging me, Mikey just kissed me... I... I'm so happy!"

"Alright, you baby," Patrick teased, playfully. "Don't you start crying on me."

"I'm not." Pete's voice was weak. "I'm just... really happy things are finally coming around. I love you, Trick."

"I love you, Pete." Patrick spoke from his heart and released Pete from the hug. "Now, go get some sleep. You obviously need it."

"I do," Pete agreed, with a laugh. "Come with me?"

"Hold on," Patrick said. "I left my phone at the table. I'm gonna grab it real quick. You should go, though. I'll catch up with you."

And with that, Pete was gone. Patrick grabbed his phone, noticing that Gerard had also left his phone at the table. He picked it up, planning to keep it safe until he saw Gerard again. 

As it turns out, that was much sooner than he expected. He began to walk out the door, when he saw Gerard walking towards him.

"Oh, hey," He greeted, casually leaning against the doorframe and holding up Gerard's phone. "Looking for something?"

"Yeah, actually," Gerard grinned and stepped closer to Patrick, taking his phone back. "Thanks."

"No proble- oh no..."

"What?" Gerard asked. "Is something wrong?"

Patrick didn't speak, but pointed up with his finger. Gerard looked up, realizing that the two of them were standing under the same mistletoe Mikey and Pete had just kissed under.

"Oh..." Gerard gasped, looking at Patrick with a silent, shocked expression. The two blushed furiously as they looked at each other, wondering what to do.

"Nobody's here," Patrick observed. "We could just-"

He was about to finish his sentence with 'walk away,' but he was interrupted by Gerard cupping his face in his hands and pecking him on the lips quickly yet gently. Patrick looked up at Gerard, his lips parted slightly and his eyes full of complete shock at what Gerard had just done. 

"Can't break tradition," Gerard breathed, with a grin and a blush. "Goodnight, Patrick. Thanks for, uh, picking up my phone for me. Means a lot."

And without another word, he was gone, and Patrick was left alone to take in what had just happened to him. It took him a few moments to register what had happened completely, and a few more minutes to realize that, for some unfathomable reason, he had sort of... enjoyed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAH


	6. The Breakdown

*Day 4*

The snow had finally gotten lighter. Patrick observed this as he sat at a table, observing the view through an open window. He knew that California wasn't far away at all. One night and day more and he'd be off.

He took a moment to stop and wonder what could possibly be waiting for him in California. All of the songs made it out to be such a wonderful place, but he wondered if that wonderful place would ever really be right for him. He wondered if any place would ever be right for him. As he watched the snowflakes fall softly, he began to realize that what Gerard had said to him was true: he was an outcast, no matter how hard he tried to believe he wasn't. He found both pain and closure in the thought.

"Patrick?"

Patrick turned to see Gerard walking over towards him.

"What're you doing out here all alone?" Gerard sighed quietly. "You didn't wanna come to dinner with us?"

"I dunno," Patrick shrugged, looking back at the window. "I'm not that hungry today."

"Me neither, actually." Gerard looked out the window as well. "It's pretty out there."

"It is." Patrick smiled. "Gerard, why aren't you with Pete and Mikey? You should go and hang with them."

"Felt like a third wheel," Gerard admitted. "I decided to leave them alone. I thought they'd like that. Nice hat."

"Thanks."

Neither of them spoke up for a moment.

"Patrick, can I sit with you?" Gerard asked, nervously.

"Sure." Patrick shifted over a little bit, giving Gerard a little more room to join him on the viewing bench. Gerard sat down, nervously tapping his nails against the bench.

"Can we talk?" Gerard asked, piquing Patrick's interest. "It's about last night. I'm sorry, I-"

"Sh," Patrick whispered gently. "What happened happened. We don't need to bring it up. I mean, I'd rather just leave it be, if that's okay with you."

"Are you sure?" Gerard pried. "I... What I did back there... it was kind of unexpected... you seemed a little shocked. Are you sure you don't want to talk?"

"I'm fine." Patrick brushed off the question nonchalantly. "Let's forget it."

Gerard furrowed his brow, both in bewilderment and agitation.

"Okay," he tiptoed around the conversation. "Do you want some coffee or something? I feel like some coffee. I'll grab you one if you want."

"Coffee does sound pretty good, actually," Patrick said. "Thanks."

"Be right back," Gerard promised, standing up and heading away briskly. While Gerard was away, Patrick took the opportunity to assess what had just happened. He wondered if maybe he should've talked to Gerard about what had happened, but he quickly dismissed the idea. He'd never been one to open up about serious problems in his life, and as he'd learned from past experiences, it was for the better. If Gerard was willing to drop everything, then it was for the best.

"Here," Gerard had returned, two peppermint-striped mugs in his hands. "Here's yours."

"Ugh, you have no idea how much I needed coffee," Patrick commented, taking the mug Gerard was handing him gently. "Thank y- wait, what's this?" 

"What do you mean?" Gerard asked, sarcastically.

"This isn't coffee," Patrick observed. "There's whipped cream on top... and crushed peppermint... this is a peppermint hot chocolate!"

"Oh, whoops," Gerard said flatly, sipping at his own drink gently. "Guess you're stuck with that one."

"Why'd you do this?" Patrick asked, brusquely. "You know I don't like this stuff. It's all sugar. It's disgusting."

"No," Gerard denied. "I don't know if you like it or not. All I know is that you've never had it, for whatever reason. If nothing else, I want you to drink it and tell me what you think of it. No lying, okay?"

"What?" Patrick scoffed. "Why?"

"Just do it," Gerard pushed. "I'll feel better if you do it."

"But I hate this stuff," Patrick complained.

"All you have to do is taste it," Gerard bargained. "Just taste it and tell me what you think of it then. If not for your own growth, do it for me."

"You're so dramatic," Patrick brushed off, rudely.

"Can't you just do this one thing for me?" Gerard huffed. "I'm not asking for much here. You know, when I first met you-"

"Alright, alright," Patrick caved in. "Spare me the story, I'll give you what you want."

Gerard remained in a state of silent anticipation as Patrick lifted the cup to his lips and took a small sip. Patrick expected to hate the taste of the drink, but even if he didn't, he wasn't going to admit it; what he didn't expect, however, was to love the drink. He savored the chocolate flavor as he swallowed, utterly surprised at how amazing it tasted.

"So?" Gerard tilted his head adorably. "What do you think?"

It took a moment for Patrick to find the words to say about what he'd just tasted.

"It's... It's terrible! Just like I expected." He set the cup down on the table in front of him roughly. "Ugh! I did what you asked. There. You happy?"

"Oh," Gerard pretended to be sad. "So you really didn't like it?"

"No." Patrick denied, trying his best to pry his eyes away from the mug.

"That's too bad," Gerard feigned a sad sigh. "I already paid for it and everything. I guess I'll just have to drink it."

"Yeah, I guess you'll have t- wait, what?" 

"You're not gonna drink it, so I will." Gerard lifted the mug from the table and blew on it softly. "What a shame... I didn't even really want it either."

"Oh... Okay, fine." Patrick tried to play it cool even though Gerard had just called his bluff. "Sure... Go ahead."

Gerard raised the mug to his lips and took a large sip, taunting Patrick with his eyes and his small grin. Patrick found it more and more difficult to deny his need for another sip by the second.

"It's here if you want it," Gerard teased, holding the mug in front of him for Patrick to take. "Final shot."

Patrick eyed the mug hungrily.

"Screw it, this stuff's delicious," he admitted, grabbing the mug and taking a hefty sip of the drink. Gerard laughed as he watched the scene unfold.

"See?" He leaned in and touched Patrick's shoulder. "It's delicious!"

"It really is," Patrick admitted, cradling the mug in both hands, enjoying the warmth it gave off.

"So why haven't you tried it before?" Gerard pried.

Patrick's mood changed from happy to somber quickly.

"I never got to drink it as a kid," Patrick began, staring at the mug lovingly before looking up at Gerard. "My parents were really anti-unhealthy food and they monitored what my siblings and I ate and drank. All the other kids got to drink it, though, and I got so jealous, I started telling myself it was disgusting. And I guess after a little while, it stuck."

"Is that why you don't like anything happy?" Gerard pried, sadness in his voice.

"What?"

"You hate hot chocolate... and love... and Christmas." Gerard moved in closer to Patrick. "Did you not get any of that?"

"You're overthinking it," Patrick reasoned. "It's not like my parents kept Christmas from my siblings and I. They were just... very reasonable about it. We didn't have much, so, we... we never really had a tree... or gifts... or stockings. It was minimalistic. I wasn't sad about it, though; my dad explained how Christmas really only exists to make consumerism spike... and how Santa was a character made to sell soda. You know, stuff like that."

"What did you have?" Gerard inquired, his voice weakening. "Did you have any hint of Christmas in your house?"

"My friends gave me gifts," Patrick recalled, setting the mug down on the table in front of him. "Some relatives snuck gifts to me around the holidays. My brother and sister set up little Christmas exchanges with me whenever they could. My class put on Christmas pageants that my parents wa... erm, slept through— you know what? I'm making it sound sadder than it really was. I had a good life."

"Did they tell you they loved you?" Gerard whimpered.

"Stop," Patrick warned, his voice breaking. "You're asking about things you don't understand."

"Oh my god," Gerard sniffled, his voice breaking. "I... I get it now..."

"My parents loved me very much, even if they didn't... didn't really show it... You know, they divorced when I was really young. That kind of stress can... can make people forget to say 'I love you,' you know? Even people who really do love you can have their off days. I... I'm their son! They had to love me! They're... they're required to..."

He looked up at Gerard, tears welling up in his eyes.

"They had to love me," He whimpered, a few tears streaming down his face. "Right?"

Gerard wrapped Patrick in a tight hug and allowed him to cry into his shoulder.

"Let it out," Gerard sighed, trying to stop his own tears from flowing. "It's okay."

"Why... why didn't they love me?" Patrick softly sobbed, holding Gerard tightly.

"Patrick, you don't need them," Gerard comforted. "You're so special... You don't even need me to tell you this, but you're such an important person to so many people around you. I've only known you for a few days and I already know that."

Patrick continued to cry.

"If it means anything, your parents probably did love you," Gerard reasoned. "Even if you didn't feel like they did. Parents are difficult."

"It's not that hard to say 'I love you,'" Patrick sniffled.

"You'd be surprised," Gerard sighed. "Patrick, you've got a lot of people who love you. Pete loves you, Mikey loves you-"

He gasped, a smile suddenly forming on his face.

"How about we make some new Christmas memories together?" He suggested, enthusiastically. "Just because you've had bad Christmases doesn't mean you're doomed forever. If you'll let me, I'd love to spend Christmas with you."

"Really?" Patrick asked, seeming to calm down a little bit.

"Of course," Gerard replied. "You know what? We could go to the Grove! That's in LA! Why don't we go on Christmas Eve? There'll be music and pretty decorations and snow—well, not real snow, obviously—but it'll feel like it!"

Patrick took a moment to regulate his breathing and swipe some tears off of his face with his sleeve.

"I-it doesn't even have to be Christmas!" Gerard added. "We could do something later..."

He sighed.

"I can't believe I'm gonna quote a cheesy Christmas song right now... What are you doing New Year's Eve?"

"What song is that?" Patrick tilted his head. Gerard chuckled softly in response.

"I'm not surprised you don't know it," he sighed. "Not a lot of people do. It's always been my favorite holiday song, though. It's not like the others."

"How so?"

"It's not happy and upbeat," Gerard explained. "It's sad. She's asking this guy what he's doing on New Year's Eve in a last ditch attempt to be with him even though she thinks she doesn't stand a chance."

"Did she ever get him?" Patrick leaned in, genuinely interested in the story. "Like, in real life?"

"I hope so." Gerard leaned in forward as well, hushing his voice playfully. "It'd be such a shame if she worked that hard and got her heart broken anyway."

Patrick blushed and averted his gaze from Gerard for a second before looking back up at him.

"Thank you," he said, exhaling the last of his sadness. "For everything. You know, I'd love to go to the Grove with you. Pete and I are going to this mixer that day, but I'm sure we can find a way out of it. I'm sure Pete'd love to see Mikey too."

"It's a date, then." Gerard smiled, picking up the peppermint-striped mug from the table and holding it in front of Patrick. "Here. Before it gets too cold."

Patrick sipped at the drink, instantly feeling better as the warm drink spilled down his throat.

"Your eyes are already brighter," Gerard observed. "I'm glad we had this talk."

"Me too." Patrick looked into the mug, observing the last sip of drink and melted whipped cream and peppermint sprinkles in the cup. "Want the last sip?"

"What?" Gerard laughed, softly. "You're offering me the last sip? Why?"

"I'm being polite," Patrick laughed, offering the mug to Gerard. "Just take it."

"Fine." Gerard took the mug and drank the last little bit of the peppermint hot chocolate quickly.

"Damn!" He exclaimed, softly. "Got some on my mouth. Hold on, I'm gonna go grab a napkin. I'll be r-"

He noticed that Patrick was staring at him, and that a blush was starting to rise to his face.

"Patrick, what is it?"

Without hesitation, Patrick leaned in, cupping Gerard's face in his hands and planting a gentle kiss on his lips. He separated from Gerard a moment later, locking eyes with him for a moment in silent admiration. Gerard's eyes were wide and a blush was on his face. 

"Did you just-"

Patrick paused for a moment, taking in what he'd just done.

"Yeah," he sighed, looking up at Gerard. "Yeah, I did. I'm sorry, I... I've just been thinking about this since you kissed me last night. It's not like me to be so spontaneous, it's just that... when I look at you-"

Gerard couldn't hold back an ecstatic laugh as he took in what Patrick was saying.

"Oh my god," he blushed violently. "Isn't that a little far to go to get another taste of peppermint?"

"Damn, you've figured me out," Patrick laughed, sarcastically. "Now I can't do it again."

"Who says you can't?" Gerard smiled coyly. Patrick perked up instantly.

"Wait, are you saying-"

Gerard smiled and nodded. Patrick looked around the car, noticing that a few people were entering and taking seats around the car to view the setting sun. Patrick turned back to Gerard, leaning in and lowering his voice to a whisper.

"Wanna go somewhere more private?" 

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

Patrick took Gerard's hand and led him away from the table and over to the sleeping compartments quickly and discreetly. When they got to Patrick's compartment, he led Gerard in and shut the door behind them swiftly.

"How much time do we have?" Gerard asked.

"They should be having dinner for an hour or two more," Patrick guessed. "Now shut up and kiss me."

Gerard didn't hesitate for a second; before long, his arms were wrapped around Patrick, and their lips had interlocked again. Patrick's hands cupped Gerard's face as the kiss intensified.

"You're so pretty," Patrick moaned softly between kisses, tiptoeing up higher to kiss Gerard. 

"Say it again," Gerard sighed, pulling Patrick in closer, until their bodies were flush with each other.

"You're shaking," Patrick observed, resting his hands on Gerard's shoulders and looking up at him with wide, bright eyes. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," Gerard breathed shakily. "Yeah, I'm fine..."

"Talk to me," Patrick whispered, tiptoeing up and giving Gerard a soft kiss on the mouth.

"Patrick, I..." Gerard breathed, nervously. "I love you."

"WHAT?" 

Patrick and Gerard turned to the door of the sleeping compartment, only to see that it was open... and that Pete was there, his expression somewhere between shocked and angry. Patrick gasped loudly, his stomach dropping and his heart pounding in his chest.

There was no getting out of this one.


	7. A Critical Mistake

"Pete... this isn't what it looks like..." 

"Oh really?" Pete barked sarcastically, with an angry laugh. "Because it looks like is you making out with the love of my life's brother! Please, tell me what's really happening!"

"Pete, I swear-"

"Gerard, could you please leave us alone for a second?" Pete asked aggressively, not even turning to look at Gerard. "I'd like to talk to Patrick in private."

"Pete, I'm sor-"

"LEAVE!" Pete snarled, pointing a finger towards the door aggressively.

"Patrick, I'm sorry." Gerard followed Pete's order timidly, shuffling out of the room rapidly. Pete slammed the door behind him and turned back to face Patrick.

"I promise, I can explain-"

"Explain it, then!" Pete demanded. "Tell me what was happening between you and Gerard. I'm waiting."

"I swear, it isn't what it looks like!" Patrick defended.

"You were kissing him!" Pete shouted. "He said he loved you! You were in our sleeping compartment! Together! Oh my god, Patrick, what have you done?"

"Pete! Listen to me!"

"I'm listening." Pete folded his arms, obviously upset. "Spit it out."

Patrick racked his brain for a quick lie to tell Pete but found himself unable to think of one.

"Pete," he stalled. "You have to understand the circumstances-"

"Cut to the chase!" Pete bellowed. "What were you doing with his tongue in your mouth? Huh?"

"Pete, I'm sorry..." Patrick admitted. "I brought him back here so we could... have some privacy-"

"Why?" Pete asked. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen, I just-"

"Don't give me that!" Pete shouted. "This is another person you're talking about! You can't play games like this! Especially when you're gonna be seeing more of him in the future!"

"Games?"

"Patrick, wake up!" Pete shoved Patrick's shoulder aggressively. "Look, I don't know a lot about love, but I do know that you don't let people fall for you if you have no intention of catching them. That's just not what decent people do!"

"What gives you the right to assume something like that?" Patrick argued.

"He's falling in love with you! He said it to your face!"

"That's not what I m-"

"Do you love him back?"

"What? I... I mean-"

"That's what I thought," Pete sighed. "You and I both know you can't love anyone. Not really. All you care about is yourself."

"How dare you say that about me?!"

"Argue all you want, you know I'm right," Pete sighed. "I tried to help you, you know? I thought a nice train ride with some decent people would break you out of this disillusionment with life, but I was wrong."

"You planned this?" 

"The train ride? Yes. Meeting Gerard and Mikey? No." Pete sighed mid explanation. "That's just what happens when you let down your barriers and let yourself be spontaneous."

"I did that with Gerard!"

"Please, you'd never have considered talking to him without me."

"Alright, maybe, but he and I are friends now! Drop it!"

"HA!" Pete shouted, angrily. "Friends? Friends? Do you think I'm that stupid? Do you really expect me to believe friends behave like that? You're no friend to him!"

"What's between him and I is none of yo-"

"Friends don't do things like that! Friends don't kiss like that! Friends sleep in different beds!"

"I wasn't gonna-"

"Yeah, right," Pete scoffed. "You took him to our sleeping compartment while Mikey and I were occupied! If I hadn't come back to get my wallet, I'm sure you would've slept with him."

"I... I'm not-"

"Not what? Not gay?" Pete rolled his eyes. "So he's an experiment then. Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. Did you ever stop and think for one second that your 'experiment' is a person with legitimate feelings for you? What do you think is going through Gerard's head right now? He's thinking that you're falling in love with him! He's looking into the future of your relationship; even if he's not thinking that far ahead, this is still very serious! Believe me, I know."

"Pete, stop-"

"You wanna know how I know?" Pete's voice started to break. "Because I've been someone's experiment!  When I first realized I was gay, I fell head over heels with this guy I knew who just wanted to experiment. He didn't tell me that, though. Thought I wouldn't sleep with him unless I was actually in love with him, I guess. I still regret it all; he left me the morning after he got what he wanted and never talked to me again."

"Oh my god," Patrick gasped. "Pete, I'm so sorry, I had no idea-"

"Save it." Pete exhaled, composing himself quickly. "You need to break this off. Right now."

With that, he left the room, slamming the door behind him and storming off angrily. Patrick was left alone to wallow in a state of sadness and guilt.

Gerard, who had been listening to the argument through the paper thin walls, found himself in a state of anger as well as sadness.

"I really don't mean a thing to you, huh?" He muttered angrily to himself, a tear rolling down his face. "This 'experiment' is over."

*Day 5*

Patrick woke from his uneasy sleep at four o'clock the next morning. He heard a loud shuffling noise outside of the door of his sleeping compartment, which, he noticed, must've woken him up. He looked across the room, noticing that Pete was deeply sleeping in the other bed. He hadn't been woken by the commotion, and Patrick decided to keep it that way. Being careful not to wake Pete, he tiptoed out of the room and pushed the door open gently, looking out into the hall for the cause of the noise. Soon enough, he found it.

"Mikey, is that you?" He asked, in a whisper. Mikey turned rapidly, startled by hearing his own name.

"Mikey, what are you doing with all those bags?" Patrick inquired, shutting the door behind him quietly.

"Oh, it's only you," he exhaled quietly. "Patrick, I'm sorry, but I have to leave right now. Gerard's gone. All his bags are gone too. I need to go find him."

Patrick felt his heart sink as Mikey told him this.

"What?"

"He just disappeared." Mikey adjusted the strap of the shoulder bag he was carrying and then continued trekking down the hall, his other heavy bags in tow. "I'm sorry, but my stop is coming up. I have to go now."

"Mikey!" Patrick chased Mikey, grabbing his shoulder and stopping him for a brief moment. "You can't just up and leave! What about Pete?"

Without warning, Mikey began to cry. First softly, but after a few moments, he was sobbing, trying his best to keep it quiet. Patrick felt his stomach sink with sadness as he watched the emotions unfold.

"Oh no, I-"

"You think I want to leave him behind?" Mikey choked, with a sob. "Because I... I don't. I love him... I wanna be with him forever. I... I just can't help this. This is an emergency."

"Mikey-"

"Shut up!" Mikey snapped. "You don't know how hard this is for me! I... Patrick, I have to leave. I have to find my brother."

He took a deep breath, but that wasn't enough to stop his sadness.

"Patrick, could you please do me a favor?" Mikey looked up at Gerard, his eyes big and glossy with tears. "I need you to tell Pete that I... I never wanted any of this to happen. Tell him that he's the love of my life and that after I sort everything out, I'm gonna find him. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I will. I'll spend my whole damn life searching if I have to. Just... just tell him I'm sorry, and not to give up on me. Can you please do that for me?"

Patrick paused, his heart sinking even further. He couldn't even bring himself to think about how sad Pete was going to be when he found out.

"So you're really going, huh?" He asked, his brow furrowing. Mikey nodded his head silently, wiping some tears from his cheeks with a sleeve.

"I have no choice," Mikey whimpered quietly. "Please, tell him what I said. And... tell him that I'm in love with him. I need him to know that I'm never gonna love anyone else. He's my One."

Patrick's stomach flipped as he recalled what Pete had said to him when he saw Mikey for the first time: 'He's my One.' 

He couldn't help but feel sadness tugging at his heart as he realized that Mikey and Pete might never see each other again. For the first time, he was finally aware of the kind of connection Mikey and Pete really shared. He knew there was mutual attraction, but he'd never believed that real, spiritual connections existed until right then. Suddenly, they felt the train jerk to a stop.

"I'm sorry, Pete," Mikey whimpered to the closed door of Patrick and Pete's sleeping compartment. "I'll be in love with you forever."

He turned and ran towards the exit, trying and failing to stifle his sobs. Patrick watched in complete sadness as Mikey ran away. That feeling was mixed with a feeling of guilt— he knew exactly why Gerard had run away, and it was all his fault.

"Was that Mikey I heard?" 

Patrick swiveled around, and to his horror, he saw that Pete had woken up, and was peeking out of the sleeping compartment. 

"Where is h- is he leaving?!" Pete didn't even bother keeping his voice down. Mikey was at the very end of the hall, exiting the train sadly, his bags in hand.

"Mikey, no!" Pete dashed over to the exit door, but by the time he got there, it was too late: the door had closed, the train had started moving, and Mikey was off. Pete was at a complete loss for words: it was as if his heart had left his body and started walking away from him.

"H-he's gone..." Pete breathed, staring out the window as the train sped away from Mikey. Patrick rushed over to Pete, gasping softly as he watched Mikey get smaller and smaller as the train sped away. "Mikey..."

"Oh, Pete..." Patrick breathed, feeling any shred of happiness he had left physically drain out of him. "I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to see this."

"Patrick, why'd he leave?" Pete asked, his voice weakening. "Wha- what did I do?"

 

"Pete, I'm so sorry." Patrick did his best to comfort Pete even though he wasn't really in a place to do any comforting. "Words can't express-"

"I-I don't understand," Pete stuttered, his eyes brimming with tears. "Patrick, why would he just up and leave me like that? He... he never even said goodbye... Wh- did I do something? I... I..." 

"Pete, come here." Patrick pulled Pete in for a tight hug and did his best to comfort him. "It... it hurts, I know, but I promise, it really isn't as bad as it seems-"

"He just walked out on me..." Pete whispered, trying to contain his emotions for a moment longer. "Patrick, he was The One. My One. I... I wanted to marry him... I would've given him everything I had... Why doesn't he love me?"

"Pete-"

"I just wanna know why," Pete sniffled, clutching tightly to Patrick. "Did he at least tell you why he left?"

Suddenly, Patrick was caught in a situation he had no intention of being in;  Pete had specifically told him that being with Gerard would ruin everything, and now it had turned out that he was right. With one stupid mistake, he'd managed to drive away not only Gerard, but Mikey as well. He wanted to make Pete feel better by telling him that Mikey didn't want to leave him behind, but he knew that, if he told Pete about Mikey, he'd have to tell the truth about Gerard as well. Despite every bone in his body telling him to tell Pete the truth, He didn't want Pete to be angry at him for causing it all.

"He didn't," Patrick lied. "I'm sorry, Pete."


	8. The Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, this story was originally posted on my Wattpad (@atomicnightfury) and this chapter was posted on Christmas Eve of 2017. I made sure to line up chapters of this story with certain dates. :)

"Patrick! Pete! You're here!" Joe Trohman greeted the two friends warmly, his arms open and a smile on his face. 

"Hey, Joe," Pete deadpanned.

"How are ya?" Patrick asked. "Where's Andy?"

"He's on his way," Joe explained. "Come on in, guys! Make yourself comfortable! I've got tons of movies and stuff for the night!"

"Oh," Pete sighed, too tired and sad to put effort into acting like he was interested. "Neat."

"Pete, what's going on?" Joe asked, putting a hand on Pete's shoulder supportively. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Fine," Pete lied, brushing Joe's hand away from him. "I'm just really tired. I think I'm gonna check in early and head to bed."

"Bed?" Joe tried to react lightly, but was genuinely concerned. "Pete, the sun's barely down. What are you talking about?"

"I had a rough day, okay?" Pete snapped. "I just want it all to be over. Can't you just let me sleep it off?"

"Oh, um," Joe was taken aback by Pete's aggression, but wasn't in any place to argue with it. "Yeah, okay... I'll show you the way. Come with me. Let me take your bags." 

"I'm good," Pete held his bags a little tighter in his grip as he walked into the house with Joe.

"Guest bedroom's up the stairs and to the right," Joe directed. "You want some food or something?"

"I'm good." Pete trod up the stairs, bags in tow, without looking at Patrick or Joe. "Thanks, though."

"See you in the morning," Joe chirped, attempting to get something out of Pete, but gaining nothing. He turned to Patrick quickly.

"Okay, what's going on here?" He asked, in a hushed voice. "Something's up."

"It's a long story," Patrick breathed, simply.

"Shorten it," Joe ordered. "This is obviously serious."

"Fine then." Patrick gulped, trying to find the words to say to Joe. "To make a long story short, he got his heart broken this morning."

"What?" Joe exclaimed, in an excited whisper. "What happened? Who broke his heart? He didn't have a boyfriend, did he?"

"He found 'The One' on the train," Patrick explained. "The two fell hard for each other: he was talking about marrying him."

"And what happened?" Joe tilted his head. "Did this guy get scared and leave? Tell me what happened."

"I don't see why we have to get into the specifics," Patrick stammered, feeling his guilt rise up and eat away at him. "He's gone and Pete's not taking it well."

"I'm not so sure that's all that happened," Joe commented, furrowing his brow. "Patrick, are you not telling me something?" 

"I've told you all you need to know," Patrick reasoned, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest. "Let it be."

"Okay." Joe cocked an eyebrow. "Sure. But I'd hate to think you're hiding something. I'd hate to think you had something to do with this, but don't want to admit it."

Patrick felt himself start to sweat nervously as he was put under pressure.

"You're hiding something, I can tell," Joe grilled. "Patrick, what happened?"

Patrick exhaled fearfully and looked up at Joe.

"I did something bad." 

***

*Day 6 - Christmas Eve*

"What a great party!" 

"Thanks, Andy," Joe responded. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Sorry I'm late," Andy laughed nervously. "The snow was insane—my flight got cancelled for days."

"Yeah, I heard about the snow," Joe commented. "Pete and Patrick got here by train. Took 'em five days to get here."

"That's crazy," Andy laughed. "I'm surprised Pete got Patrick to do that. I'm more surprised Patrick didn't kill him."

Andy looked around, but couldn't find Pete in the crowd of people.

"Wait, he didn't kill him, right?"

"No," Joe sighed, pointing over to a corner of the house not covered in people. "He's over there."

Pete sat in a chair, wearing sweatpants and a gray t-shirt, sipping at a glass of brown alcohol. His eyes were tired and his face was utterly sad.

"What happened?" Andy asked.

"Pete fell in love on the train," Joe said. "He found The One. Patrick screwed it all up, though."

"What?" Andy exclaimed.

"Patrick had this fling with Pete's boyfriend's brother," Joe explained, hushing his voice. "Pete caught them and flipped out. Next morning, the brother was gone. Must've heard the argument. Mikey left the next morning."

"Mikey?"

"The one Pete loves!" Joe clarified. "He walked off to find his brother. Patrick told Pete he didn't know why he left, but he did."

Andy looked over at Pete once more before turning back to Joe.

"So Patrick did kill him," he sighed. 

"I told him he needed to confess to Pete," Joe huffed. "But he can't bring himself to do it. Something tells me he's never going to. If he doesn't do something by the end of the night, I'm telling him."

As the party continued on, Patrick seemed to be avoiding Pete. Guilt ate at him as he tried to find a way to tell Pete what had really happened. He considered never saying anything, in spite of every ethical bone in his body telling him to. He felt trapped.

"Hey." 

Patrick turned to see who was talking to him, and he saw a tall, beautiful woman with long brown hair and blue eyes smiling down at him.

"Were you talking to me?" He asked, awkwardly.

"Yeah," the woman took a seat in a chair, her shiny red dress glimmering in the lights of the party. "I saw you standin' here all alone and I thought I should say hi."

"Oh," Patrick blushed softly, more out of intimidation than attraction, though she was quite attractive. "Hello."

"I'm Marie." The woman put her hand out daintily for Patrick to shake. "What's your name?"

"Patrick," Patrick introduced himself, shaking her hand.

"Patrick," she repeated, smiling. "I like that name."

She placed a hand on Patrick's shoulder flirtatiously, causing Patrick to recoil slightly.

"I'm sorry, I don't think-"

"Marie, this isn't the friend I told you about." Pete had walked up to the two of them, empty glass in hand. "You're looking for Joe. He's over by the fireplace. He's the one with the beard and the curly hair."

"Oh!" Marie looked flustered. "Patrick, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Pete just told me that one of his friends might be interested in me and that I should talk to him. I thought it was you."

"It's fine," Patrick breathed a sigh of relief. "It was nice meeting you, Marie."

"You too," Marie smiled a friendly smile and walked off in Joe's direction briskly, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor.

"You set up a date for Joe?" Patrick smiled. "That was sweet of-"

"I didn't invite her for Joe, I invited her for you." Pete huffed, pouring another drink for himself. "She's a friend of mine from high school. Total sweetheart. I thought you'd like her."

"Pete, you tried to set me up for Christmas?" Patrick tried to clarify, more to himself than to Pete.

"Yeah," Pete put down the alcohol bottle and looked at Patrick. "I thought that maybe if you found someone to love around the holidays, you'd finally get out of this emotional rut and be happy for once. Guess I was wrong, huh?"

"What do you mean?" Patrick asked. Pete downed his drink before he spoke again.

"True love doesn't exist." Pete sat down, pouring another drink. "I thought I found it with Mikey, but things just don't work out that way in real life. Patrick, I should have listened to you. You were right all along."

He went to take another drink, but Patrick stopped him, swiping the glass from his hand swiftly.

"What the hell, man?" Pete spat. "That's my drink! What are y-"

"You're gonna die if you keep up like this," Patrick spoke assuredly.

"Who cares?" Pete spat.

"Listen to me," Patrick demanded. "I'm not gonna stand by while you slowly kill yourself. Not again."

"Patrick, you're talking about things you don't understand," Pete scoffed. "I need to drink to get through this. Mikey Way broke my heart. I need the drink. Give it back!"

"No!" Patrick said, fighting Pete off.

"Wait, are you guys talking about Mikey Way?"

Pete and Patrick turned to face the man who had just called them.

"Who are you?" Pete spat.

"Wait, are you Pete?" The man spoke again. "Oh my god, you're Pete! Ray, get over here!"

"You never answered my question!" Pete barked, walking over to the short, black-haired man boldly. "Who are you and what do you know about Mikey Way?"

"I'm Frank," the man introduced himself. "I was in My Chem with Mikey Way and his brother Gerard. I know you've met both of them."

"Frank, you called?" A frizzy-haired brunet suddenly joined the group. "What's going on?"

"Who are you?" Patrick chimed in. 

"This is Ray," Frank explained. "He was also in My Chem."

"What's My Chem?" Pete spat.

"Our band!" Frank said, as if it were basic knowledge. "You know, My Chemical Romance?"

"Hold on," Pete seemed briefly awestruck. "My Chemical Romance? As in the band that did the song I'm Not Okay? And Helena? And Welcome To The Black Parade?" 

"Yeah!" Ray chirped. "You know us?" 

"I know your music a little," Pete admitted. "I have friends that are obsessed with you. If you don't mind, I'd like it if you guys'd leave me alone, though."

"Wait, what?" Frank was taken aback by the rude brush off he'd just been given.

"Your bass player pretended like he was in love with me for four days and then left me without even saying goodbye. Forgive me for not wanting to deal with people like you who consider him a friend."

"That's not what he told us," Ray said, furrowing his brow. "He said he left to find Gerard when he ran off."

"Yeah," Frank added. "He called me when he got off the train. He told me he was gonna look for Gerard, but he was crying so hard I could barely hear him."

"What?" Pete was suddenly interested.

"Yeah, he was a mess," Frank continued. "I asked him what was wrong and he told me he had to leave the love of his life behind. Said he was worried he'd never see him again. He said the man he loved went by the name of Pete, and he told me he explained it all to someone named Patrick. That's you, isn't it?" 

"Yeah, that's us," Pete said. "But that story's just not true. Patrick told me he had no idea why Mikey left. He wouldn't lie to me, would you, Patrick?"

Patrick hesitated a moment.

"Patrick, did you not hear me?" Pete asked. "You'd never lie to me, right?"

Patrick looked up at Pete, letting the guilt written all over his face do all the talking.

"Oh my god..." Pete exclaimed, his expression showing both shock and anger.

"Pete, I can explain everything-"

"You cost me the love of my life!" Pete lunged at Patrick violently, Ray and Frank jumping in to hold him back immediately. Patrick stepped back, but Pete fought to escape the grip of Frank and Ray.

"Let go of me!" He demanded. "He lied to me! He made me believe Mikey didn't love me at all! Now he's gone! I... I wanted to spend the holidays with him... I'm never gonna get this back!"

Patrick stopped for a moment, and realized that all wasn't lost.

"We have time." He spoke with assuredness in his voice. "Pete, we still have time! It's only Christmas Eve! We can find him!"

"What's the point of looking?" Pete shouted. "We'll never be able to find him in time."

"Yes we will!" Patrick argued.

"What makes you so sure?" Pete shouted. Patrick picked up the drink Pete had poured earlier and downed it before speaking.

"Because I'm pretty sure I know where Gerard is."


	9. One Way Or Another

"Patrick! You and Pete leaving so soon?" Joe stood by the door.

"We've got some stuff we have to deal with," Patrick huffed. "Joe, we don't have much time. We need to go now."

"What?" Joe was flustered. "Go where? What's the stuff you have to deal with?"

"Remember what I told you about earlier?" Patrick growled. "That. I'm fixing my mistake."

"Good timing," Pete rolled his eyes, brushing past Andy and Joe quickly. "Don't talk to me."

"Pete!" Patrick called, but Pete wouldn't listen. "Why won't he listen to me?"

"Because you lied to him?" Joe suggested.

"Because you told him the love of his life didn't care about him?" Andy interjected.

"Maybe because you were mean to Gerard?" Frank interjected.

"Yeah, what'd you do to make him run off like that?" Ray asked.

"Wait, why are you—" Patrick hadn't expected anyone to answer him.

"Shut up," Joe demanded. "What happened with you and Jared?"

"Gerard," Patrick corrected.

"Whatever." Joe folded his arms. "What did you do to him? What sort of stupid, rude thing did you say this time?"

"Woah, what's going on with y—"

"Patrick, you sort of dug yourself into a big hole here," Andy commented. "You need to stop messing your own life up and start explaining yourself. Maybe we can help you, but you have to let us."

Patrick gulped nervously. His friends had never talked to him like that. The awful reality was quite sobering.

"I-it's not like that..." Patrick paused, breaking eye contact with the rest of them. "I..."

Silence.

"Patrick," Joe spat, bluntly. "Did you really lie about Gerard and Mikey to protect Pete's feelings?"

"Are you doing all of this to protect Pete or are you scared to admit something about yourself?" Andy tossed in.

More quiet. The entire party had stopped just to watch the confrontation go down. Patrick felt eyes on him as he stood in his place, waiting for someone, anyone, to speak up. He knew, however, that he needed to be the one to break the silence. He gulped nervously.

"I... I messed up really bad," Patrick admitted, showing a braver side of himself nobody had seen before. He knew everyone was listening, but he didn't care.

"I've never been one to believe in connections," he announced to the group, though others were leaning in to listen. "I... I've never thought the idea of falling in love was for me. I thought I'd always be alone in this world. I never thought... I'd be in a place where I looked at a stranger and felt an instant connection. I never thought I was the type to be thought of as interesting enough to be seen as more than a friend... or even a stranger. I never thought I'd be someone who could be analyzed like a book and taught new things about myself by someone I'd known for only a few days. I never thought I'd look into someone's eyes and realize..."

He paused.

"...Realize that I'm never gonna be as happy as I am when I'm right in front of him. Gerard, he... he cured me."

There was a collective shocked gasp from the people at the party. Patrick looked around, continuing his story courageously.

"He told me he loved me the night before he left..." Patrick recalled. "I never said anything back. Pete caught us before I could. I told him Gerard was only an experiment and that he meant nothing to me. He must've overheard me, but I was lying. I... I couldn't... I couldn't admit that..."

The entire party waited on bated breath to hear the end of the story. Patrick looked up and exhaled his fear.

"...I couldn't admit that I'd fallen madly in love with him."

The entire party was silently staring at Patrick.

"What?" Joe couldn't believe his own ears. "Wait, did you just say—"

"Yeah," Patrick blushed a little, standing a little taller; he was suddenly much more confident than he was before. "I did."

Not one person at that party dared ruin the moment by speaking up. At least, most of them didn't.

"Is that what all this was about?" Pete had returned, and was now waiting by the door. "You're in love?"

"Pete!" Patrick was suddenly timid again. "I'm sorry, I didn't think you were listening... Don't be angry. I'll help you find Mikey and then I'll leave you two and... and Gerard... I'll leave all of you alone if you want."

"Are you not hearing yourself?" Pete scoffed angrily, sauntering up to Patrick. "Why didn't you just tell me you were really in love with him?"

"Pete, I thought you didn't want me to be with him," Patrick stammered. "I thought you'd think I'd get between you and Mikey if I was with him."

"I only said that when I thought you were using him!" Pete was still very angry, but seemed to be cooling down. "Patrick, what kind of person do you think I am? Do you really think that if you told me you loved Gerard, I'd tell you that's not allowed? You must actually be crazy!"

"You're not mad?"

"Oh, I'm still mad, don't think I'm not." Pete folded his arms. "You lost the man you love and the man I love in one night and then tried to pretend like it wasn't your fault. I've done nothing but try and make you happy and you repaid me with selfishness. I'm not just gonna get over that."

"Pete, I—"

"Let me finish!" Pete shouted. "Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was going to say that you're my best friend and no matter what, I'm always gonna care about you. Even though you messed up big time, I'm willing to forgive you."

"Oh my god," Patrick's voice broke with joy. "Pete, thank you, I don't deserve—"

"Don't touch me," Pete warned. "Now, do you really know where Gerard is? Because if we find him, we'll probably find Mikey too. You may have a chance of redeeming yourself tonight."

"I have an idea," Patrick blurted. "He and I were talking about places to go on Christmas and he started talking about The Grove. He sounded really excited about going."

"Let's not waste anymore time, then," Pete rushed out the door, keys in hand. "C'mon!" 

***

"How are we supposed to find Gerard now?" Pete asked. "There must be thousands of people here!"

Patrick took a look around at the scenery: tiny puffs of snow substitute floated through the air, decorating the ground like powdered sugar on top of a cupcake. Decorated Christmas trees covered every inch of the place. garlands and wreaths hung everywhere. Patrick suddenly realized just how right Gerard was about the beauty of the Christmas season.

"What's the plan?" Pete asked. Patrick listened to him, and immediately started thinking. He looked around at the loudspeakers, wondering if he could possibly get a message across to Gerard, when suddenly, bingo!

"The live band!" Patrick exclaimed. "Their music is playing through the speakers! I'll get my message across that way!"

"What?" Pete looked perplexed. "Patrick, you can't do tha— Patrick!"

It was too late to stop him. He was already pushing his way through the crowd and going towards the stage.

"Oh my god," Pete gasped, as he watched Patrick literally chase down his goals. "He's doing it!"

"Hey, what are you d—" the singer of the live band barked as Patrick jumped onto the stage.

"I'm really sorry, I need to borrow your microphone for a second. Please, this is important." Patrick found his footing and found a place in front of the microphone. "Hello?"

His voice rang out, paired with microphone feedback. For the second time that night, he'd made himself the center of attention. Only, this time, he felt himself freeze up a little when he saw all of the eyes staring up at him. He gulped nervously and continued to talk into the microphone.

"Everyone, I, uh... I'm sorry I'm stopping the music. I wouldn't if it weren't important. I'm Patrick Stump, and I just want to send a message out to someone who I... who I hope is in this crowd tonight. He needs to hear how much I care. His name is Gerard Way. He's got bright red hair, but not the natural kind of red. He likes makeup. He's the ex singer of My Chemical Romance. If any of you have seen him out here, I need to know. Gerard, wherever you are, I want you to know that I'm sorry about everything I said on the train and—"

He noticed a familiar tuft of red hair poking out from under the beanie of a man who was walking away from the crowd briskly.

"Gerard, please don't walk away from me," Patrick begged, causing Gerard to stop in his tracks for a moment. "Gerard, I see you back there. Please just stay for a minute! Please!"

Gerard turned back to see Patrick, and the crowd waited on bated breath to see what was going to happen.

"There you are! Gerard, I know I messed up really badly, but I... I was scared. I didn't want to hurt you, I just— Screw it. Gerard, I... I need to ask you something."

He gulped nervously before stepping in closer to the mic.

"When the bells all ring and the horns all blow, and the couples we know are fondly kissing..."

"What the hell?" Pete asked himself, from afar. "Did he just start singing?" 

"Will I be with you, or will I be among the missing?" Patrick sang into the microphone. "Maybe it's much too early in the game, ah, but I thought I'd ask you just the same: what are you doing New Years? New Year's Eve?"

"What are you guys doing?" The singer of the live band hissed to the rest of the band. "He's pouring his heart out! Back him up, for crying out loud!"

"Wonder whose—" Patrick was surprised by the sudden unexpected background music, but he went with it. "Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight, when it's exactly twelve o'clock that night. Welcoming in the New Year, New Year's Eve."

Gerard's eyes were starting to well up with tears as Patrick sang the third verse. He considered walking away, but something in him told him to walk towards Patrick. He walked through the crowd, which had parted in front of him nicely. He found the way to the front of the crowd, looking up at Patrick with a smile.

"Maybe I'm crazy to suppose I'd ever be the one you chose out of the thousand invitations you'll receive," Patrick sang, making direct eye contact with Gerard and blushing softly. "Ah, but in case I stand one little chance, here comes the jackpot question in advance: what are you doing New Year's, New Year's Eve? Oh, what are you doing New Year's, New Year's Eve?"

The band finished playing and the crowd collectively applauded for Patrick's heartfelt, impromptu performance. Gerard clapped and cheered as well, a happy smile forming on his face.

"Gerard, I'm in love with you," Patrick admitted, into the microphone. "I've made some mistakes, but I'm gonna fix them. I don't care if that takes my whole life, I'm gonna make things right with you. Will you please forgive me?"

Gerard gasped softly and covered his face with his hands nervously as Patrick looked at him. The crowd cheered Patrick on, as Gerard looked around at them. The red-haired man nodded his head violently and smiled. Patrick smiled even wider than he was before as he jumped into the crowd and ran into Gerard's arms. He looked up into Gerard's eyes for a moment before standing on his tiptoes, wrapping his arms around the taller man's shoulders and kissing him on the lips swiftly. Gerard leaned down and kissed Patrick back, cupping his face in his hands. The audience cheered louder than they had before as Patrick and Gerard had their moment. 

They separated a moment later, and Patrick took a beat to stare into Gerard's eyes. As he held on to Gerard and stared into those beautiful brown eyes of his, he wondered how he was ever able to survive without him. He looked at him, all covered with fake snow and eyes big and happy, and realized that there was no place he'd rather be than right in front of Gerard.

"I love you, Patrick." Gerard laughed, sincerity in his voice. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Patrick breathed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that earlier. I—"

"Sh," Gerard hushed. "Don't worry. All is forgiven."

Patrick suddenly thought of Pete, and how sad he probably was, even if he was trying to be happy. He'd failed to find Mikey, and it was almost Christmas Day.

"I wish Mikey were here," Patrick sighed. "That would make Pete feel so much better."

"Hey, uh," Gerard pointed to a spot behind Patrick. "I don't think you have to worry about that."

Patrick turned and saw Mikey in the crowd, pushing his way through.

"Wha—" Patrick was taken aback. "Wait, how... How did... when did he—"

"I wasn't gonna spend Christmas without my baby brother," Gerard explained. "I called him and told him to come here right before you showed up. Turns out, he was already here looking for me."

"Gerard!" Mikey ran up to Gerard and hugged him tightly. "I... I was so worried about you!" 

"Mikes, it's okay," Gerard hugged him back tightly. "I'm here now."

He looked up and saw Pete approaching apprehensively, almost as if he didn't believe what he was seeing. Patrick smiled and put a finger up to his own mouth, silently telling Pete to be quiet for a moment. Pete complied, though he looked as if he were about to burst at the seams with excitement.

"Mikes, there's someone else here who wants to see you," Gerard said, prying himself away from the hug and turning Mikey to face Pete. Mikey screamed with glee as he saw Pete, and Pete did the same. The two ran into each other's arms and embraced, Mikey lifting Pete up and Pete wrapping his arms around Mikey's shoulders and showering his face with kisses.

"Pete! Oh my god! I missed you so much!" Mikey giggled.

"I thought I lost you," Pete breathed, between kisses. "I... I thought I was never gonna see you again—"

"Do you think I'd let that happen?" Mikey laughed, setting Pete down gently.

"I don't know, but I'm gonna make sure I never lose you again." Without warning, Pete dropped to one knee, looking up at Mikey and taking his hand gently. Mikey gasped loudly, as did Gerard and Patrick.

"What are you doing?" Mikey shouted, desperately trying to keep from crying.

"About a week ago," Pete started. "I went on a train, not expecting much other than a pleasant trip to LA. Then, I looked at you and felt this kind of instant connection I thought only happened in movies. What shocked me the most was when you turned out to be just as crazy as I am: you were willing to fall in love with me just as quickly as I did without even really knowing me."

"Pete, oh my god," Mikey whimpered, tears flowing down his face as he laughed. "Oh my god."

"I was starting to think love wasn't for me, but then I found you. I thought I'd never look into someone's eyes and realize that there's nothing else I'd rather be looking at. I never expected anyone to look back my flaws and quirks and love me for who I am, but then, of course, you changed my entire perspective."

"Oh my god, he's actually proposing!" Gerard squealed, excitedly.

"Shh!" Patrick shushed him gleefully as he watched the scene unfold, phone in hand with the record button pressed. "He's about to do it, don't distract them." 

Pete had already started crying by then, but he struggled to keep his voice steady as he spoke.

"Mikey, you've changed my life for the better, and I've realized I don't want to live in a world where I'm not your husband."

Gerard tried to keep quiet, but was obviously dying to shout. Patrick was happy as well, but he wasn't about to distract from the proposal.

"Michael James Way, will you marry me?"

"YES!" Mikey screamed, scooping Pete up into another hug. Gerard finally got to let out his excited shriek as Pete and Mikey kissed once more, now as an engaged couple. Patrick looked on in admiration of everything that had happened that day. Gerard couldn't help himself: he ran up to Pete and Mikey and pulled them in for a warm group hug.

"I can't believe it!" He squealed. "Mikey, you're gonna be married! Pete, were gonna be brother-in-laws!"

"Yeah!" Pete shouted, happily returning the group hug. "We are!"

Gerard pulled Pete in a little tighter.

"Welcome to the family, Pete," he welcomed, warmly.

Patrick watched the emotional group hug from a short distance, smiling brightly. Suddenly, Gerard looked up and grinned at Patrick, opening up the group hug.

"You too, Patrick," Gerard smiled. "Come on in."

"Oh, I dunno."

"Patrick, you're gonna be a part of this." Gerard reached out and grabbed Patrick's arm, pulling him into the hug. Patrick joined the hug warmly.

"Welcome to the family, Patrick," Gerard grinned from ear to ear, wrapping an arm tightly around Patrick. "I promise, we'll treat you and Pete well."

Patrick looked up at Gerard, Mikey, and Pete as he heard this, taking in the collective happiness of the group. He liked the idea of being a family with all of them.

"Thank you..."


	10. The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally posted on New Year’s Eve 2017 (my eighteenth birthday)! I thought that was pretty cool.

*New Year's Eve*

"The ball's gonna drop in an hour!" Pete called. "Hon, c'mon!"

"I'm coming!" Mikey called back, running through the door of his room, buttoning up his shirt quickly and shutting the door behind him by bumping it with his hip. Pete grinned in admiration.

"I love the outfit," He commented. "I mean, the shirt, the jeans, the ring..."

"Yeah, yeah," Mikey playfully rolled his eyes. "You got me a gorgeous ring. Try and be a little modest."

"Let me see it again," Pete asked, reaching for Mikey's left hand and holding it up gently so he could see the elegant diamond atop the band around Mikey's ring finger. "Yeah, I think I made a good choice."

"The ring or me?" Mikey laughed, wrapping Pete up tightly in his arms.

"Both." Pete cupped Mikey's face in his hands and tiptoed up to kiss him gently on the mouth.

"Wait." Mikey stopped the kiss prematurely. "We don't have time for this."

"You're right." Pete separated from Mikey, fixing his outfit quickly. "We should be going. Patrick! Gerard!"

"They're in the living room," Mikey corrected. "Gerard!"

"Shh!" Gerard shushed aggressively. "Don't wake him up!"

Mikey walked briskly to the couch in the living room to see Gerard sitting daintily on the couch, Patrick resting his head on Gerard's lap, snoozing softly.

"Aww," Mikey gushed softly. "That's sweet." 

Gerard smiled softly and blushed, running a hand through Patrick's hair gently.

"It is sweet."

"Is he sleeping again?" Pete asked, walking into the room and standing next to Mikey. "I swear, he's narcoleptic."

"No, that's probably my fault," Gerard sighed, his voice hushed. "I mean, I did keep him up pretty late last night—"

"Woah!" Mikey halted the conversation right there. "Gerard, stop—"

"What?" Gerard laughed. "I was gonna say I woke him up at two in the morning and took him for ice cream. Nothing you can't hear."

"Oh," Mikey sighed with relief. "I thought you were gonna say—"

"—what happened after we got home?" Gerard grinned smugly. "Nah."

"I know you're messing with me, but stop." Mikey warned.

"Okay, okay," Gerard sighed, with a soft chuckle. "I've just gotta wake him up. I don't want to, though. Who could possibly disturb him while he's sleeping?"

"Hey!" Pete shouted, rushing back in, a bowl of candy canes in his arm, throwing a bunch of them at Patrick. "Patrick, you narcoleptic weirdo! Wake up!"

Patrick stirred awake as he was pelted with candy canes.

"Pete?" He muttered, his voice gruff and tired. "What the hell? Stop throwing stuff at me!"

"Mornin', sunshine!" Pete grinned. "You know, we gotta go! The club's gonna be full soon, we gotta get going!"

"We're ready!" Gerard exclaimed, picking up a candy cane from the couch, unpeeling the plastic wrapping and popping it into his mouth. "Well, pretty much. Just give us a minute."

"We'll catch up with you," Patrick yawned. "Go ahead."

"Guys, are you sure?" Mikey asked.

"This club's pretty exclusive," Pete added. "You guys aren't gonna be able to get in if you get there too late."

"We'll make it," Gerard affirmed. "Just go."

"Fine." Pete brushed back his hair with his hands. "We'll meet you there, then."

"Sounds good to me," Patrick said.

Pete and Mikey left the house quickly, locking the door behind them. Patrick stretched and stood up from the couch quickly.

"I'll be ready in a second," he promised. "We can get going then."

"Wait." Gerard grabbed Patrick's hand, stopping him from walking away from him. "Hold back a second."

"Yeah?" Patrick turned back, squeezing Gerard's hand tightly. "What is it?"

"I was thinking," Gerard pulled Patrick closer to him. "How about we skip going to the club tonight?"

"What?" Patrick blushed softly. "You wanted to go so bad... what do you mean skip it?"

"I thought staying here'd be more fun," Gerard blushed.

"More fun, huh?" Patrick smiled. "What do you have in mind?"

"Sit down," Gerard patted the spot on the couch next to him softly. "The New Years Ball is gonna drop soon. We should watch it."

Patrick complied happily, perching on the couch, his legs tucked under him, resting his head on Gerard's shoulder. Gerard wrapped an arm around him tightly and flipped the TV on, turning it to a news channel that was showing the New Year's Eve celebration. Gerard finished the candy cane he'd started sucking on as the two of them watched act after act go on in celebration of the new year.

Before long, the fateful countdown had started. With thirty seconds to go, Gerard looked over at Patrick, realizing he had fallen asleep again, this time, on his shoulder.

"Hey," Gerard said, in a hushed voice, shaking Patrick awake softly. "Patrick! Wake up!"

"Did I miss it?" Patrick shot awake, looking at the TV nervously. "Did I miss it?"

"Twenty more seconds!" Gerard called. "Is it too early to start counting down?"

"No," Patrick laughed, with a yawn. "But you'd better start soon— clock's going down."

"Fifteen!" Gerard shouted. "Fourteen! Thirteen! Twelve! Eleven!" 

Time seemed to slow down for a moment as Patrick watched Gerard excitedly count down. He'd never been one to get excited over the new year, but something about being with Gerard made him feel more excited. Suddenly, he didn't feel like an outsider anymore. Something had changed in him.

In a way, all it had taken to cure him was one unwanted train trip, one week of unwanted human interaction, and one offbeat person who could see the good in him. Patrick smiled happily as the clock ticked down.

"Ten!" Patrick counted down, with Gerard. Gerard smiled and looked at Patrick with complete adoration. The two of them counted the rest of the year down as a pair.

"Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

The people on the tv cheered as the New Year rolled in, and Gerard and Patrick joined in on the celebration, clapping and yelling wildly. Patrick sat up and looked over at Gerard, and Gerard looked back at him.

"Happy new year," Patrick uttered quietly, a soft blush rising to his face. He averted his eyes from Gerard shyly. Gerard smiled, pushing Patrick's chin up and looking directly into his eyes for a moment before leaning in and planting a soft kiss on his lips. He separated a moment later, leaving Patrick breathless and blushing.

"Happy new year," Gerard breathed, with a giggle.

"Yeah, uh, happy new year." Patrick blushed softly, wanting nothing more than for Gerard to lean in and kiss him one more time. Gerard must've read his mind, or maybe it was written all over his face, because sooner than later, the pair had locked lips again. Gerard's hands migrated from Patrick's face to his shoulders as he leaned into the kiss.

"Don't stop," Patrick breathed, between kisses.

Gerard swung one leg over Patrick, straddling him quickly before cupping his face and pulling him closer.

"You asked me what I was doing New Year's Eve," Gerard growled, brushing some strands of bright red hair out of his face. "This is what I'm doing."

"I love you," Patrick breathed, staring up at Gerard, starry-eyed and completely winded. His hands migrated down Gerard's sides and landed on his hips.

"Prove it." Gerard buried his face in Patrick's neck and held tighter to him, his hands fumbling with the hem of Patrick's shirt. Patrick let out a moan of satisfaction as he tilted his head to the side.

There was nowhere else he would've rather been than right where he was: with the odd, red-haired man he didn't originally care to meet on the train ride that changed his life.


End file.
